Who am I?
by R.Bitch
Summary: What if serena never talked blair out from leaving for france that night (thin line between nate and chuck).. What if blair left..what happened?..you will have to read to find out…READ AND REVIEW.. i do not own gossip girl.. i wish i did own atleast BLAIR
1. omg Blair

What if serena never talked blair from leaving for france that night.. What if blair left..you will have to read to find out…

"Blair"

"What? You want a lift to jfk?"

"Your mom said u were going to France tonight"

"Well she has a big mouth"

"B…. am your best friend..she was shocked that I didn't know"

"Well now you do"

"What I know is how you felt when I left without telling u"

"Is there a reason why you are here?"

"Stay.. don't let some stupid scandal let u run away like it did me..Like it does to everyone in our worlds"

"Everything is horrible..my whole life has fallen apart"

"So rebuild it.. you are a waldorf remember.. People don't tell you who you are..you tell them. "Stay and fight.. I will fight with you.."

"Oh pls shut up S.. fight with me?.. with Humphrey by your side taking jenny's side or telling you how am a horrible person and you should not stay with me..jenny is his sister"

"B…? pls(hugs blair)..pls then stay for me"

"S .. I cant and am sorry pls let me go.."

"Am so embarrassed nate kicked me out of his home without even hearing my side of the story.. S pls tell me whats the difference between what you did and what I did.."

Serena pulls back from and looks at her and says.."B who cares about nate.. you have me by yourself and there are so many worthy bachelors out there that are waiting to throw themselves at you(sniffs).. B pls"

Blair shakes her head.. "serena…chuck…ch..uck..chuck"(crying and shaking her head)

"B what did chuck do..pls stop crying.."(crying too)

"Chuck said nobody could ever want me again.. he said I was like one of his father's sweaty Arabians.. drove hard and put away wet..."

"I cant stay here still emotional stressed and know that I would have to see them again..S..my heart cant take it again..pls let me ago"

"How dare he? Oh B.. You know you shouldn't be listening to chuck.. he is by far the most disgusting and irritating slut in the city..but I know you B.. and am sure you've made up your mind.."

"Serena I need to go and recuperate, maybe when I come back it would be us against the world"

"Blair…(hugs her tighter) pls… Pls don't go"

"S.. You gotta let me go.. I promise I will be ok and I will be back..(sniffs).. Take care of yourself S"

Blair boards the helicopter

**Gossip Girl here: its Penelope and hazel's "school's out" party and we cant see our Queen B or mine atleast… has she gone into hiding..guess we should be asking her BFF?.. Oh well boys and girls just be on the look out for me ok? You know you love me xoxo.**

"I hope she never shows her face to this party or else …"

"Hazel pls… She doesn't have the guts and even if she does we will show her who runs the UES.. Her reign is over" Penelope says

Kati and Iz look at each and keeps their mouth because deep down they are still blair's friend and pray she comes back

"Maybe we might try the nairtini on her next if she shows her face… Since my yogurt didn't do the trick "

Serena and Dan enter the party holding hands..

Everyone is looking at them trying to see if the Queen B herself was with them or even behind them. Including two once best friends chuck and nate.

"look at them looking at us to see if they would see blair.. I wish I could murder them all one by one… first chuck.. then nate and all of blair's lackeys" serena says

"be careful of what you wish for" dan says

Serena looks at him with murderous eyes and he steps back a little.. not sure if he is scared of his life or theirs

Serena finally blinks and says "I need a drink or rather two if am going to survive this party"

"why are we even here.. we could be home watching a movie or two"

"because I already said I would come and that was long before this mess and mostly am here to gather intels and stories for blair for when she comes back.. she will need it if she is going to destroy all these fakes" serena walks out to get drinks for them

Chuck takes his forth swing of scotch for that day and glares at nate..and sees nate staring at the entrance.

"well it wont hurt to try"

He walks to nate "looks like we are waiting for the same person"

Nate glares at him and turns his attention back to the door

"still not talking to me I see.. great"

Dan sees the guys talking and waltz his way to where they were "umm.. hi are you guys now speaking to each other?

"No" nate says

"I guess not" chuck says

"hmm..whatever have you guys seen serena?..she went to get us drinks"

**Gossip girl here: fellas it has just come to my notice that the air france plane crashed in to the atlantic ocean…so if your loved one is on that plane I suggest you go home or call them.. my condolences to the passengers…you know you love me xoxo**

"oh well I know no one" chuck says

Nate snaps his phone shut and keeps staring at the door

"wow that would be a lot of people in the ocean.. can you imagine"

Serena comes behind dan holding two champagne glassses with disgust all written on her face…chuck tries his best not to look at her face while nate shudders at the face reaction coming from serena and they both start to think about what they did to blair or said and how she would be feeling or be if serena the flighty always happy one is looking almost murderous

Dan clears his throat and says "gossip girl just posted a blast saying the air france plane in the atlantic ocean"

Two champagne glasses smash on the floor. Everyone is quiet and turns to see whats happening..

"wh.. what?" she takes the phone from dan's hand and reads the blast and throws it back at him.. fumbles through her back to get her phone.. gets her phone and dials

"omg its not going…"

"serena whose number is not going" chuck and dan asks

Having a dreadful feeling in his tommy and almost scared to death.. chuck looks at serena dialing furiously in her phone

"serena!" dan screams

"What..what.. just shut up"

Serena walks out of the party with the only thing heard from her"mom do you have Eleanor waldorf's second number"

"Why is serena asking her mom for blair's mom number when she can just ask blair" chuck ask

"I don't know" nate says

"Maybe because blair is not in the city"

"Humphrey What do you mean blair is not in the city" chuck asks

"Serena said she went to visit her father yesterday.. umm how does this have to do with serena walking out"

"Omg blair" chuck and nate say at the same time..


	2. i dont know

From this point on forward it's going to get confusing… so try and catch up… If you don't understand. Tell me and I will try and explain. Ps: this is my first fiction... So hi I guess... I will be updating every Tuesday

**T.V Reporter: Divers have scoured the Atlantic ocean in search of some missing passengers**** from the Air France plane crash and are still searching****…104**** passengers boarded the plane that faithful night and only 40 have been found and only five were found alive****,**** but in a critical position. Captain Shane has given a report this morning saying that "the missing people could have floated afar from the crash or must have been carried away by the sharks in the ocean, but they would still keep on searching". We have some list of names of passengers still missing; Jack Smith, Collin Bricks, Stella Copper, Blair Waldorf….**

Inside the Waldorf Penthouse the news was on, Mr. And Mrs Waldorf was listening to the news. Eleanor Waldorf couldn't hold up the mask she has been putting on since she got the notice that the air France plane had crashed into the ocean and her daughter was a passenger … She still couldn't believe that her daughter could be gone until now, Until the reporter announced Blair's name on T.V.

"Harold my baby girl is gone"

"Eleanor, please pull yourself together"

"What do you mean I should pull myself together? It's all your fault Blair is not here. If you hadn't gone all the way across country to live... She wouldn't have been on that plane coming to meet you" Eleanor falls on knees crying her heart not just for the loss of her daughter, but for the loss of the daughter she never took the time of a day to love.

"Eleanor you know that if I knew that this was ever going to happen I would have stayed"

"Harold don't fool yourself... you were so selfish that you only cared about yourself. We were... we were so selfish and self-absorbed that we didn't care about her enough..."

Eleanor grips Harold on the shirt and bangs him in the chest while Harold tries to steady her, so she wouldn't have to fall. Immediately, the elevator dings and chuck with Nate, Dan, jenny, Kati and Iz, Penelope, and hazel step out. Kati and Iz both with matching flowers for Blair's mom. Chuck with pink peonies, Nate with white hydrangeas. Eleanor stares them down with anger and recurs the night when Blair came home crying, kneeling and begging to leave New York because everything was bad. She knows deep down that these are the people who caused her baby pain. Eleanor walks out of the sitting room in to her own room.

"Our condolences Mr. Waldorf" Kati and Iz say. Giving Harold the flowers.

"We are sorry for your loss" Penelope and hazel put in

"Can I put these flowers in her room ... pls?" chuck asks looking at Harold in the eyes... And Harold could see that the boy was in deep pain and looked like he hasn't slept in a long while

"Yes you can chuck, but am not sure the doors are open... Serena hasn't left the room since she got the news"

"Oh ok... we will try and see if its unlock" Nate speaks up

"And I would like to see her and see how she has been... I haven't seen her since Penelope and hazel's party" Dan pleads

"You all can go in but make it quick not everyone was or is still worthy enough to be in my daughter's room missing or not" Harold says glaring at Penelope, hazel, jenny, and Dan

Harold walks out of the room to go see how his devastated wife is fairing.

The teenagers slowly enter the former Queen B's room with ease. Nate first to enter, drops his flowers on Blair's vanity table, so does chuck too. Serena who has been on the bed since she heard the news and haven't left, sits up and stares at the crowd in front of her.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"We came to pay homage to ..."

"Lil J did I speak to you? "Serena spits out jenny's name like it was poison and it did sting jenny because she was shocked at the name "lil J"

"You asked what we were doing here" jenny responds in a shaky and shocked manner because Serena has never talked harshly to her before. Only Blair has.

"And in that stupid head of yours...you thought I was talking to you?"

Jenny tries to respond again in a shaky manner, chuck drags her backwards and gives her a sign to shut up.

"Serena you need to leave this room... your mom and Eric miss you and would love to see you home"

"Chuck if I hear another word from you I swear I will make sure you get choked up on those words. All of you here... you all are the reasons why Blair is not here today. And when she does come back I will make sure she deals with all of you one by one. No exceptions" Serena growls

"Serena...Blair is not coming back... didn't you hear the latest news today?"

"Nate you son of a bitch…how dare you assume the worst"

"Serena it's been days and they've searched the crash site… Hell I even sent some of Bart's men down there"

Serena's face falls and recovers just like that... Like what chuck said didn't faze her… She turns her attention from chuck to Nate. Serena stands up from the bed and walks over to Nate and pokes him with her index finger.

"She loved you Nate...she loved you with all her heart, she forgave you...even after you told her what we did...she took you back... you used her so your family could still stand afloat...she still stood next to you... she knew so many of your family secrets and kept them safe, when you were in trouble she was there, Nate .. She has been with you since God knows when... you never showed her any appreciations or love... (Serena wipes the tears from her face) Nate she still stood by your side"

"You were supposed to be her knight in shining Armour, but when A gossip girl blast ruins her life, what do you do leave her to herself. You turned her away...HOW DARE YOU NATE"... "I mean what chuck did was expected of him but you?"(Serena wipes out the tears falling from her eyes)… "You know what Nate... you are just a sorry excuse for a man... boyfriend and even a friend... You never deserved her... never"

A tear falls from Nate's eyes, his head bowed in shame. Everywhere is so quiet and all you can hear is Serena crying

"I want you all to leave this room at this very moment right now"...I SAID LEAVE" she picks up the flowers Nate and chuck brought and flung it at them. Screaming Leave! As chuck and Nate turn to leave "you all are all uninvited to her wake or memorial service... I don't want to see the faces of the murderers who killed my best friend and sister" just like that her face changes and you could see her face stone cold... No emotions shown at all

"Girls? A minute pls" the girls scared of what had just occurred and not sure why she called them, but turned back into the room. "You all will now answer to me and to no one... jenny you've been dismissed... you are no longer needed as a mean girl or a minion(jenny's mouth drop open).. We don't accept backstabbers in our group... you all can go"

"But Serena I didn't mean to tell..."

"You didn't mean to what? Tell Nate a conversation which you overheard to Nate, so you could overthrow Blair? You've always wanted to be Blair so bad that you would do anything... you wanted Nate...well looks like your wish came through he is free, pathetic, and single and you can have him"

"I never wanted to have Nate like this pls you have to believe me... I would do anything to bring Blair back if I could... I feel like it's all my fault and I..."

"Of course it's your fault jenny... you social climbing whore!"

"Serena!" Dan speaks up for the very first time since he has entered Blair's room "jenny go home now!" jenny leaves weeping and crying

"So does this mean Queen S is back?" hazel ask

Serena glares at them and responds "No... Blair remains Queen B and no one will ever come close to what she is or was... am just taking care of her court till she returns.. It-girl Serena is just back" hazel and Penelope look at each other from the corner of their eyes because they remember It-girl Serena and only Blair could handle or control her…so they leave the room with Kati and Iz.

"Serena I get you are angry and sad and also scared because of the loss of Blair, but".

"Dan ... Blair is not dead... she is going to be back"

"Serena... Blair is gone... I know you don't want to believe this or you are still in denial, but am sure she wouldn't want you to waste your life in her room"

"Humphrey shut up...when in God's name did you start knowing what Blair would think about… (Takes a deep breath and shakes her head) you think I didn't know what you thought about her? What was it...yeah 95-pound, doe-eyed, bonmot-tossing, label-whoring package of girly evil... That is my best friend you were talking about!" Serena screams

"Serena I didn't literally mean all those things... as much as I showed that I disliked her... she also showed the same reaction... and as much as I also disliked her… I respected her too..."

"Oh pls... Why didn't you tell her that in her face...let me guess your pride was too much for you...? I mean you despise everything the Upper East Side upholds so much but you and your sister keep coming and crawling your way in..."

"Serena you know why I keep coming back" Dan responds calmly

"Well then I relieve you of all your duties or reason of coming back to a place you hate so much. I can't be the reason why you have to keep coming to the place you hate so much"

"Serena? Whoa...Serena you can't just break up with me just because I hate the Upper East Side... I care about you so much that I can forget all my hateful feelings towards the UES"

"Can't you see... am not breaking up with you because you hate the UES... hell I don't care...Nate and chuck were not the only ones who failed Blair.. I did... I failed her... when she needed me the most I walked out and came to you instead… if I didn't tell you that she slept with chuck… jenny wouldn't have told Nate.. If I hadn't asked chuck to talk to Blair about the test... chuck won't have known or sent the blast... if I …if I wasn't dating you…maybe. Just maybe she might have stayed when I asked her to stay that we would fight together... She should have stayed... instead of giving me excuses of how am with you and how judgmental you might get and may convince me to stop helping her..." Serena screams Dan tries hugging her to calm her down because she is crying again... but Serena refuses.

"Don't you understand…Dan I left her when everyone left her...? Hell I was the first to leave her... I shouldn't have left her... I should have been able to talk her out of her plan of going to France...I should be able to do that …am her best friend"

"Serena no one can make Blair do what she doesn't want to do... If that's one thing I know about Blair... That is it" Dan tries again

"I don't know how am supposed to move on or go on with my life..." Serena sits back on the bed crying softly

"Dan just leave me alone pls"

"Serena am not going anywhere"

"Dan I said leave or else am calling the security to bundle you out of this room…"

"Serena pls don't drive everyone that loves you away…"

"Goodbye Dan"

Dan leaves the room and Serena crawls back into Blair's bed sobbing... she finally falls asleep. Few minutes later the room's door opens.

"Dan I asked you to leave" she jerks up to see Dan, but instead sees Eleanor staring at her with red rimmed eyes.

"Oh Serena... your eyes are all swollen dear" Eleanor goes and sits on the bed and hugs Serena so tight...trying her best not to start crying again in front of her daughter's best friend

"Eleanor" Serena hugs her so tight "am so scared... what if they never find her... what if she is gone forever"

"Serena she… Serena Blair is gone… her plane crashed almost a week ago and divers have been searching the crash site... its either she isn't there or she floated away which might also mean the sharks got to her like the reporters say"

"No…. no… you can't give up hope just like that… she will be back... maybe not today and you know Blair is a very good swimmer.. Remember the first time you and my mom took us swimming classes... she learnt after only three classes... she can't just die now.. She was the smartest...most brilliant and caring person I knew despite her bitchiness..." Serena laughs at the last statement she makes about Blair's bitchiness and Eleanor joins her.

"Serena I want you to know that you never failed Blair... if anyone is to be blamed for not caring or being there for Blair... it's me that should have asked her to stay" a tear slips out from Eleanor's eyes

"She loved you so much Eleanor... even though you were never there... she considered you her mentor... that is apart from Audrey though..." Serena gives a weak smile

Eleanor smiles a little... "And what did I do with the love given to me freely by my own daughter? I flushed it away with stupid remarks on her looks or weight even when she was always looking so good... I still criticized her... what kind of mother does that to her only child... Serena I failed her... I might as well may have put her in the crash...so stop blaming yourself" Eleanor says rubbing her back and trying to make her stop crying

"She will be back, don't worry... its Blair. Blair can't just leave... she just can't..." Serena cries into Eleanor's arms... holding her so tight...

It's been a while since the Astor family have left their house. Since the sickness had befallen Mrs. Gloria Astor (owner of House of Astor Decorations) herself. Cancer of the breast they say, cancer of the lungs they say...she has been going through series of treatments still nothing... Mr. Clinton Astor(Multibillionaire owner of Astor Industries and Firms) himself wealthy he maybe spends all his money in hospitals trying to get doctors and physicians the money they all need to make a miracle drug that can cure his beloved wife. Dave (with blond hair like his mom, blue eyes like the sea like his dad, with a little broad shoulders like his dad and slender body like his mom) their only son doesn't know what to do to help his mom, so he spends most of his times cutting classes to go drink with his friends to forget all the pain and sorrows happening at home...after the last ongoing treatment last week, the mom decides she needs a family time with her boys and is very tired of seeing white walls and doctors. So very excited, they decide to go sailing in their very expensive yacht. With Dave taking the command as captain, Gloria and Clinton sipping champagne and watching the sunset.

"Omg what is that? Dad!. Dad... dad... come see"

"Dave what is it...did we hit something or are we about to?"

"No dad look!..There is something in the water... I think it's human...it is hanging on to a life saver"

"What is going on?" Gloria who just entered ask...

"Someone or something is out there Gloria and your son here wants to go check it out...Dave stay here I will call the..."

"No father. We can't just sit and wait for them to get here... am going in…"Dave removes his shirt and dives into the cold water

"Be careful"

"Dad its human, send down the rafts" Clinton brings down the rafts and reels it back in with some help from Gloria of course...Dave drops the body on the ground.. Clinton tries performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Nothing happens...he tries again... again and again... finally she coughs up some water...and more

"Call the coast guard Dave..."Dave leaves the room to go call for help

Gloria stares at the pale, dark haired girl with doe eyes and ask "who are you"

"I...I don't know"

read and review...


	3. she was my sister

**authors note;guys i will try to update as soon as possible...maybe not every tuesdays .. thanks**

* * *

"Nate? Pick up its chuck... Umm am at the palace bar and I need your help... Its Serena... Again" chuck talks to Nate's voicemail for the the fourth time that night, all because its that time of the night where he gets to look after his "supposed to be step-sister" while everyone including his dear best friend or ex-best friend Nate sleeps in their bed. Its times like this that he wishes the only person who could make all these go away was here right now...chuck takes another swing of his third?.. Fourth? Or... What the hell…he takes another swing of his scotch… He stares across the room...

"Great... Just great...Nate gets to sleep and I get stuck with sunshine drunk Barbie..."

On top of the table top bar dancing her ass off to the wooing drunk guys is Serena vanderwoodsen in her It-girl mode

"Serena pls get down from the table top... Pls Serena" chuck tries to get her down by dragging her by her hands

"Leave me alone chuck"...she smiles and looks at him and in a weird way it looked a lot like a Blair Waldorf bitch smile "if you don't let me go right no am going to scream rape and you wouldn't only be evoking the wrath of these guys but those of Bart's too… if he bails you from jail" chuck releases her and she turns back to the guys… "Guys? who wants another round… Hahaha shots anyone?"

"Yeah!... Yesses" were heard from all the guys

"Guys' common… Serena pls" chuck pleaded

Serena looks at chuck for the first time that night and walks away from the guys, just a few steps away... Although he and everything looked blurry and everything feels woozy to her... She stares at him

"Chuck if you want me out of here... Get me Blair... I want Blair now" tears trickle down her face and she furiously wipes it off and turns her back at him and walks back to the drunk guys…giving a fake smile

"Guys am back"

"Don't we all" Chuck says while flipping his phone and trying to call the last person on earth he would ever call for help, normally its Nate that calls him, but Nate is nowhere here and he needs some sleep.

"Uh hello"

"Humphrey its chuck bass I need your help..."

"What does the great chuck bass need my help for?"

"It's Serena..."

"….."

"Umm hello... Be at the palace bar now"

Chuck shuts his phone

* * *

In Brooklyn, inside a loft is a young male humphrey prancing left and right, up and down thinking of what to do because this is not the first nor the second time he's been called out in the night to help Serena from herself.. But every FREAKING time she always ask about one same person...Dan smashes his phone on the ground out of anger

"Dan!... What's wrong?" Jenny asked checking the smashed phone

"Oh nothing... Just testing out the phone to see if it's strong enough"

"Is it about Serena?"

"Uhh umm no?"

"Dan I know there is no gossip girl because everyone now thinks she the one is responsible for what happened to you know who... But People still see things and talk about them"

"Jenny... I... I gotta go.. Tell dad I went for a walk"

"A walk by 11pm?"

"Just make up something"

* * *

"Where is she?" Nate says while trying to clear the sleep in his eyes… he has been showing up to school with dark circles in his eyes since Serena announced it-girl Serena was back and even his bans are not long enough to cover them up

"There" chuck points at the still dancing drunk Serena that's dancing with a bottle of vodka

"What have you been doing here chuck..."

"Oh Nate I don't know while you were having your beauty sleep… I have been up all night making sure our girl here doesn't go home with a stranger or a pervert no less"

"Have you tried bringing her down" Nate ask so desperately

"Haven't we all tried night after night and you know what she ask for and how it ends" chuck says ordering another scotch for him and Nate while keeping an eye on Serena

"Am going over there"

"Be my guest"

Nate goes over to Serena to see if he can try and talk some sense into her head… As he heads over there dan enters the bar and spots chuck drinking and looking over his shoulder and that's when he saw the guys surrounding the one table with the love his life ontop off, trying to hike her skirt up more higher

"Chuck? We got to get her down from that table top"

"Haa" chuck breathes out irritably "Humphrey so glad for you to join us and your ex-girlfriend who you're still in love with"

"Chuck it's always so nice to see you"

"Common lets go help Nate bring down your damsel in distress"

They walked all the way to see Nate begging and arguing effortlessly with a drunk Serena, whom when drunk has the energy and strength of a five year old. Chuck so tired of being sleep deprived went over to where they were and dragged Serena out of the palace bar to the alley… He looked at Serena with all the honesty he had in a drunken state. With Nate and Dan on their tails… Nate spoke up

"Serena pls lets go home, it's late and tomorrow is a school's day"

"Then go home Nate…leave me alone... I told you only Blair can take care of me"

"SERENA! Just pls stop… Stop okay" chuck screams and puts his hand on his forehead while trying to walk in circles, but decides to just lean on the wall.

Serena was shocked, well everyone was shocked because Chuck never loses his cool and since Blair no one ever sees him and when they do, it's either at a bar drinking or trying to talk Serena out from drinking to stupor.

Serena walks up to chuck "don't you think I want to stop… Did you think I want to always drink every night? Blair…" wipes a tear from her eyes... "Blair was everything..."

"She was our best friend too Serena"

"I know Nate… Buh she wasn't just my best friend"

"She was your sister"

"Yes Dan she was and is still... And this is the only way I can connect or feel her… Because it's these moments that reminds me so much of her and how she helped me and it's all I got"

"Getting drunk every single night is not the only connection you have of her you know" Dan says

"You can get connections or close to her through the things she loved"

"Loves" Serena snaps

"Loves" Nate answers swiftly

"Like her sense of impeccable fashion... Her love for Audrey Hepburn movies or old classic movies and her uncontrollable love and affection she had and still has for her friends" chuck says softly while looking at Serena and if you looked closely you would have seen a tear in his eyes that he is struggling to keep from falling.

"Or her love for Jane Austin books or arts" Serena says while crying again

"Wow... She... She loved Jane Austin's novels" Dan ask while being amazed because he is yet to meet someone who loved any Jane Austin novels… he wishes he got to know Blair more or gave her a chance or wasn't too fast to judge her

"Yea" Serena responds to Dan...While looking at him then looking away as fast as she could without making eye contact but dan caught her eyes... Chuck seeing the interaction shakes his head and Nate being oblivious as always says

"So what do you say Serena…let's get you home"

"Yea..." Serena breathes out "I will really like that"

* * *

Out in the garden at the back of a California decadent hand built mansion was a pale, dark haired girl on a swing trying to mourn the loss of her mom or should I say adopted mom

"Holly... Oh here you are... I knew I would find you here" holly's five month old best friend say

"Hey… Have you seen Dave?... I only saw him in the church at the memorial service"

"Yea... He left with Alex a few minutes ago" she looks at her best friend "holly pls talk to me... I know this is hard for you and considering she was the only mom you knew... At least till you rem..."

Holly brings up her hand so fast like a speed of flash and stands up abruptly and walks through the flowers in the garden...stomping her foot on the ground

"Don't say it … I don't … Just... I don't know what to do anymore… It's like am losing my mind... My dad has locked himself in my mom's room since she passed away and am a hundred percent sure he is sick bush he doesn't want any doctors and Dave? Ha... Dave is acting like we don't even exist... I see him only once in a week and for the first time in a long time I feel helpless"(right in that moment she gets a flash of herself walking in a park wearing a green double breasted jacket looking like her life just crashed into a black hole)

Omg... Somebody HELP… holly!

* * *

READ AND REVIEW... the flashback was after the gossip girl blast when blair walks around in the park... umm before she goes home and tells eleanor she wanted to leave for france.. that scene


	4. Done

In the palace late at night... Seated at the bar is the great chuck bass... Immediately it clocks 12 like a sad fairy tale Nate enters the bar and spots his dear old best friend? More like ex-best friend since they don't talk much to each other… Well mostly Nate, or that's what he wants chuck to think, but deep down he just wants his old buddy back.

"Hey" Nate says as he approaches chuck

"Hey yourself..."chuck looks at him drearily "are we talking now?"

"I guess so...I mean it's been almost a year" he looks at chuck... "It's been too long chuck, so what do you say...?" he sticks out his hand to chuck... chuck shakes him

"Yea …yea I guess so…"he takes a swing of his drink... "So... How have you been…? We havent talked much since uhh"

"Since I slammed in the car at school" Nate ruffles his blonde hair back orders another drink this time its vodka very dirty

"Yea… I remember that day…ha...worst day of my life"

Nate looks at his friend and realizes he has changed… The chuck he knew never cared about anything hell or even anyone, but since Blair he has changed… He has been mourning her like a widower who lost his beloved wife…he even mourns Blair more than him these days … Although no one mourns Blair more than her sister/best friend Serena

"Yea...that's everyone's worst day ever… Sometimes I blame myself…"chuck looks at him like he was crazy… Nate looks at him and look away "She came up to me that day to explain or apologize... I don't know"

"And?"

"I basically told her to fuck off…"Nate takes a swing at his dirty vodka and breathes out "I just turned her down, told her to leave" chuck looks at him again, buh this time he looks at nate like he has lost his mind, then looks straight ahead like he is lost in some outer space dimension.

"She came to me that same night… I said some mean mean things to her…"it was like chuck sobered up as he talked and Nate could just see pain and someone dying inside... Chuck looks at him and tries to smirk buh couldn't pull it off... So he laughs it off… "Well I basically called her a slut and told her that she was my dad's old sweaty horse... I mean who says that to someone...especially someone the cared about...I feel like I actually took her to her death..."finally a lucky tear finds its way out of chuck tear glands

Nate looks at chuck and slaps his back gently "we all made mistakes that we cant take back now… And am sure she is up in heaven somewhere making sure the angels are not wearing tights as pants"

At that Nate laughs out loud while chuck just stares ahead and smirk… Chuck brings his glass up and Nate does the same and they clink them together... "To Blair who we didn't deserve, but miss her dearly" they both smiled and drank to that.

* * *

"Hey… Take it easy. It was a hard fall with no one there to catch u"

"Oh... No wonder my head hurts" holly looks at Dave and could see the worry etched on his face... "Hey did I cause a big scene at dad's memorial service?"

"No holly" he tucks her hair back... He loves to do that to his mom but since his mom passed away. He has been doing it to her… "Am just worried... I don't want to lose u too"

"Hey... Hey... Don't talk Like that... I just fell... It just happens mostly at burials like at moms... "Am ok I promise..." She tries to smile

"Today it's just a fall... tomorrow I wonder what's next...You don't need to lie to me holly... I know you are remembering at least bits and pieces... Am just worried next time you try remembering no one would be there and this time u might fall very hard"

"Now you know why I don't want to remember... You think falling is the hard part... It's the memory... When it comes... It hurts... Am tired of the pain… I just want it to stop entirely... I don't want to know who I was before..." A tear slips out from her eyes

"Hey... It's alright stop crying… Have your rest now okay?" he pats her back and holly who is very observant and knows Dave so much knows that Dave does that when he is hiding something, but what he really wants is to tell someone or want someone to care enough to ask, so instead of asking you to listen, he pats your back..

"Dave you are patting me" she looks at him in the eyes "what's wrong? It's been so long since we talked like we used… I know it must have been so hard on you to have lost your mom and now dad"

"Hey they were your parents too... I don't care if they adopted you or not… You are my sister and only family I have Left now"

"Then what's wrong... You've been behaving weird after mom and hey you can trust me...don't you trust me? Don't you trust me enough to tell me what's been bothering you?" she tries again to make Dave open up to her.

Dave looks at her in the eyes and looks at her hands and knows this is his chance to tell someone what's been eating him up and his last chance if possible to have a family member who can understand him... so he looks back at holly in the eye "I'm gay"

"What?"

"Yea"

"You are gay? How? When?"

"What do you mean by how? When?"

"Am not homophobic or anything… Am just shocked and confused I guess... I mean you were dating Brittany way before I came and I know you guys broke up two months after I came buh you were with her since kindergarten" (she gets a flash of a male with blonde hair but couldn't see the face) it was like someone hit her in the head with a hammer "ahhh.. My head"

"Whoa... Holly what's wrong"

"Am okay." She looks at Dave and tries to lie her way out of the situation, but could see concern written over his face "it's just a flash of something. Nothing big"

"Are you okay ... I can call Dr. Spade" he tries to get up and call the doctor

"Dave sit am ok...I swear…" She looks at him... "So what? …you are gay that can't be the reason you have been extra moody and sulky like a vampire" she smiles at Dave and Dave smiles back

"No ... No that's not why…" He stands up and walks to her book shelves were pictures of him, holly, his dad and mom went skiing, camping and so much more... He brings up one picture and shows it to holly "haa good times" trying to divert the conversations, but holly aint buying it... Her face has no emotions, buh reads clearly that she knows what he is doing and she isn't budging

"Hmmm... I find out am gay but keep it to myself"

"So... maybe you were waiting for the... You know right time to jump out of the closet?" She smiles again... Dave smiles back.

"But there was no right time… Not with mom sick and battling with chemo, and dad working his heart out... There was no time, but then you came and brought a little sunshine to our lives" Dave sits back on the bed "mom laughed almost every day till she passed away, dad cut back at work and I stayed home a little ... I wanted to come out a lot of times buh I figured if I came out now.. It would be about me and how I should embrace my sexuality and so on and as much as I wanted that... I wasn't selfish enough to make the last days of mom's about me because she would be fussing over me... I wanted it to be about her getting to know the daughter she always wished she had... You and her going shopping and maxing out dad's cards, seeing art galleries, going to spas and even teasing me… Best times of my life holly"

"Oh Dave. Am so so sorry"

"No you shouldn't"

"No I should... I took all their free times away and didn't give you the opportunity to let them know the new you, you had discovered... am so sorry" she takes his hands

"But now you do... Which am grateful for…so rest dear... You need it... Hell we all do now we have got just each other left..."Holly lies back on the bed and falls back asleep... Dave kisses her head and leaves

* * *

"Is she asleep?"

"Yes she is ... She is resting now"

"Did you tell her about the news?"

"The news that we will be leaving California and be traveling to New York to stay with our distant relatives...who we have never met? No doctor I didn't give her the talk if that's what you are saying" Dave walks into the living room and pours himself a drink "you want one"

"No thanks... Am still on duty"

"I couldn't tell her... You know how she gets about travelling especially when it comes to planes. She is so frightened about it and now her flashes are coming more often with a lot of pains too... Don't you have anything stronger to give her for the pain?"

"Every medication we have for these sort of pain... She already has them... Don't worry... I will work with her about her fear of plane and am sure the fear will decrease when she sees that not only are you coming with her but her best friend is to"

"I hope so"

* * *

Inside the Waldorf penthouse was so quiet... The only sounds came from the kitchen and the arriving elevator... Serena steps out of the elevator and could perceive the aroma that filled the house

"Miss Serena"

"Dorota... How are you doing?"

"Am fine…"

"Is Eleanor around?"

"Yes she is... I will call her for you"

Serena walks into the sitting room and sits on the white chaise and it was like she was dragged to the past when Blair hosted an essay writing party which they ended up not writing... She could see Blair walking up and down welcoming quest and taking something from chuck

"Serena dear" Eleanor walks up to her

Serena snaps back to reality and gives her a vintage Serena van der woodsen smile

"How are you Eleanor" she hugs the woman who she also considers as a mom

"Am fine dear… How are you and school? I know it's your senior year... Don't worry you are almost out"

Serena smiles again... "Am ok and I can see you are well...? I love that dress you are wearing it's you design right?"

"Yes dear... You have a good eye... Spotting my design without even looking at the tag"

"Well being with Blair can make you know things unconsciously" they two ladies keep quiet and look at each other

"So Serena what can I do you for dear"

"Actually am here to talk about Blair"

"What about Blair"

"It's almost November 15"

"Yea... I know" She breathes out...

"I want to throw a party for her birthday"

"Dear... You know Blair is no more"

"I know buh she is not forgotten… If she was around she would have celebrated it... She loved her birthdays… And we would be celebrating it... To remind us of her"

Eleanor looks at her daughter's best friend and sees the determination in her eyes and knows that no matter what she says... That the you girl has made up her mind on throwing a birthday party for her late friend

"Ok... You can throw the party in memory of my daughter..." At the sound of that Serena stands up and hugs Eleanor so tight "thank you... I promise it will be perfect just as she always wanted it."

"Under one condition"

"What?"

"The party will be in this very household"

"Done"

* * *

READ AND REVIEW PLS.. if you have any questions ask.. holly falls in chapter 3 when she was with her BF in the garden during her mom's burial and falls again at the father's.. Yes both parents are dead... Dave and Blair are same age


	5. s? what's going on

**The captain: I would love to announce to everyone that we've arrived to New York. I also would love to use this opportunity to thank you all for riding with us so have a nice day, especially you Ms. Astor( the captain smiles nervously at her).**

In the plane, you could see holly giving the captain the murder eye. Dave laughs a little when he notices his sis behaving like an almost killer while holly's best friend just smiles because they have finally arrived and she can remove her numb fingers from holly's tightened hands. She didn't think she could survive another minute sitting side by side with holly. For the past three hours she has been jumping, threatening everyone ( mostly the captain everytime they hit a turbulence) and making sure to tell Dave how they could have taken something else and dave trying to explain that he couldn't do anything since the people who they were supposed to meet gave them this private jet and it would be rude to say no.

"You see holly, it wasn't that hard.. although am sure am seeing a doctor for my hand.. I think you broke it dave says while examining his right hand because he was sitting at her left.

"I hope I broke it that will show you.. next time you would remember that I am scared of planes and say no to free stuffs like free jets, we can afford if we wanted one dave" hissing his name to make her point and then turns to her best friend who she really is considering slapping for laughing at her when she screamed during the last turbulence I mean they can't be serious the plane almost went upside down "and you! You call yourself my best friend I cant believe you took his side and also laughed" holly glares at her

"What did I do this time around, its not my fault you screamed like a baby" she says trying to mask her amused face with concern and pity, but holly wasn't buying it

"You weren't even on my side when I said no to this free jet thingy"

"Come on holly look at the bright side"

"Which is?" Holly glares at her… waiting like a lioness that's about to pounce at her prey.. just waiting for her to say something, so she can hit her back with her own words

"We flew on a private plane which my dear was good because you wouldn't have wanted other people hearing you scream like an infant, or at the captain like you did and also guess what" she looks out the window "we are here, Welcome to New York City Holly Astor"

* * *

At the waldorf penthouse you could see serena at the door greeting her guest and making small talks with them, which is completely different from what the real serena actually does. The real serena would have asked blair were the bar was and had her first two shots first before greeting any unknown person, but not this serena. This serena hasn't had any alcohol well apart from the champagne glass she's been holding, she wants to be active and make sure everything was spectacular and perfect like how blair would have wanted it. The elevator dings and in comes chuck and nate, chuck wearing a Navy Suit paired with gingham check shirt and a matching combo of golden-yellow tie and matching oversized pocket square and nate wearing a Ralph Lauren black suit and his inner shirt unbuttoned In the first two buttons.

"Hey guys am happy you guys made it" serena greets her friends

"Of course we would make it, I wouldn't miss for the world" chuck looks around and he could imagine blair hosting something like this, it looks blairesque he returns his eyes on serena and smiles again.. "it looks perfect Van der woodsen am actually quite impressed"

"Oh god you really think so"

"Yea"

"Good because you are one of the few people I would love to have heard a feedback from" serena looks around and could see drinks flowing all around, people chatting up, but mostly talking about blair and some other people looking through pictures of blair that she put around. "Considering you and blair almost have the same taste when it comes to fashion of things or how a high classed party should go"

"Hey" nate says "I know one or two things about fashion you know" chuck and serena turn to him with amused face expressions "ooh i like your dress serena its beautiful and sparkly and glittery too. Is that Valentine?" he says while looking like he answered a question correctly in class while looking at serena's gold shimmering gown that had a dropped opening in the front. At this point, serena and chuck were already close to the floor laughing their ass off "ok guys knock it off already" he breathes out and sees a waiter carrying three vodka shots and waves him to them. When the waiter approaches them nate gives chuck and serena each a shot "to blair happy birthday" he raises his glass up and looks at his friends. Chuck looks at his drink with a gloom look and smiles "to blair" he finally says. Serena raises her own drink and says "to blair" they all clink and drink up.

* * *

In the Humphrey loft, you could see dan prancing up and down trying to look for his silk tie. He figured that if blair was really alive that she would be happy if he came to her party not dressed like a plebian or worse wear something without a designer name. that's why he is wearing a Ralph lauren suit(although renting it, but it would do). Jenny comes in to look at him again and see if she can still persuade him to take her as a plus one since she wasn't invited and still on the outs with serena.

"Hey what are you looking for?"

"Dad's silk tie.. it looks fashionable and priceless atleast thats what I think..it might not pass the waldorf fashion test, but it would be considered a clothing in her presence"

"Yea the tie looks nice enough.. I think I saw it here" she walks to rufus's closet and brings it out and hands it out to dan. As she gives it to him she looks at him "do you still think I shouldn't go with you.. I promise I wouldn't cause any trouble.i just want to atleast maybe pay my respect"

"Were you invited?"

"No, but…"

"No buts jenny.. serena had her reason not inviting you and if blair was around do you really think that she would actually invite you"

"No..Yea she might.. I and blair might have had our differences, but am sure she respected me as much I did and I know serena cant see that because she still blames me and also hates me" jenny starts crying making dan stop in his tracks, so he turns back and walks up to her

"Hey jen, serena doesn't hate you trust me. She is just going through tough times, but she is coming together. I mean see she is warming up to nate and chuck who everyone thought she would never talk to and who knows might surprise you one day and talk to you again like she used to but not now or ?"

"Fine. I hope you are right and don't you worry she will come around and surprise you by asking you out" jenny says while smiling leaving dan confused because he doesn't know if she means it or being sarcastic because they all know serena doesn't ask people out and she did it only once and that was when she came back from boarding school. Dan leaves the loft thinking and hoping the past would repeat itself.

* * *

"Is it me or does this leather seats feel so comfortable and hmm relaxing"

"Wow holly.. I think we can give you a little privacy with Mr. leather seats here" holly's best friend jokingly tells her

"Hahaha" dave laughs "don't worry holly.. I will make sure to tell the limo driver to leave the limo with us"

"Yea yea keep laughing she looks out the window today feels so special for some reason I feel giddy and happy"

"Ha says the girl that was panicking and almost ripped the pilots head off every occurred turbulence" dave says while looking at his sister and he could see that she was serious and looking curiously outside "are you having or about to have any flashes"

"No" she says while looking at dave and her bestfriend "no I just feel happy, just extremely happy" she smiles

* * *

In the waldorf kitchen Eleanor enters and everyone leaves, she goes to the cupboard and brings out a vintage 1780 jameson irish whiskey and she turns to see Harold bringing out glasses. Eleanor smiles and pours herself a drink and does the same for Harold. They both pause looking at their speaks up.

"Eleanor our daughter is eighteen" he says and looks at his ex-wife

"Yes she is… she is all grown up when did that happen.. cheers to the world's best daughter of the year"

"I will cheer to that" he clinks his glass with hers and pauses before he drinks.( sometimes we try to pretend things are how we wish them to be, even when in reality it really isn't)

* * *

In the sitting room, with serena, nate and chuck reminiscing about their lives when they were kids and how blair was the boss of them. The elevator dings and in comes dan looking for once like he belongs in the upper east side. Serena looks at him and smiles, nate and chuck turn their backs to see what she is smiling about and sights dan. They excuse themselves so they can give them their privacy. Dan approaches serena smiling slyly.

"Hey stranger" serena beats him in starting the conversation. "You look like you are lost, but dress like you are in the right place".

"Yea, I asked myself as I chose this outfit what would blair waldorf approve of. She might not approve of the tie though, but I think she would turn a blind eye on it when she sees the suit" he pretends to be dusting the lapels of his suit.

"Yea am sure she would approve, but must leave you with some bitchy remarks too. Although am impressed. You look handsome"

"Thanks and you look beautiful as always serena"

"Thank you I just wish she was here to see all of this"

"Hey, am sure wherever she is now.. she will be so glad that you did this for her" at that moment they could hear Eleanor calling serena up to give the speech she made for the quest in blair's honor.

"I think I have to go, but I hope I see you before the party ends" she walks close to dan and dan could smell the vanilla scented perfume from her. She perks him on the cheeks and leaves him there standing and watching her walk away. Serena climbs ontop of the semi-stage she set up and clears her throat.

"Firstly, I will like to thank everyone here for coming to this party, I personally know that blair would appreciate it. I would also love to say wow, you all look nice and fashionable, as you all know blair was a fashion-wise character and critic so am glad to see that everyone dressed so impeccably beautiful" at that the elevator dings "I would also love to thank Eleanor waldorf for making this possible and"… serena turns and could see everyone looking at the elevator, so she climbs down to see who had the audacity to crash this party or make it imperfect which was what she wasn't going for. When she reaches the elevator she stops and looks at the strangers like she was seeing a ghost. On the other hand, holly, dave and holly's bestfriend could not believe their eyes when they walked into the penthouse. It was like walking into a fashion house. Everyone was looking and glaring at them like they haven't seen humans before. For a second dave thought they were all vampires and he was dinner. Then out of the blue a blond girl steps out from the crowd. Holly looks at her and smiles.

"Um am sorry for crashing your party we are looking for a Mrs. Eleanor waldorf" holly says while looking at dave to make sure she said the name correctly and also to make sure they were In the right house

"Oh my God Blair" the blond hugs holly so tight that she couldn't breathe which surprised dave

"S? whats going on."

* * *

am sorry if i took time to update.. will try to update the next drama chapter more early


	6. i dont see a difference

"S? What's going on" holly ask her best friend

"Umm… holly I am still trying to figure it out" Sierra holly's best friend responds confusingly

"Excuse me" Holly tries to remove her body from the Blondie who is almost choking her

Serena stares at the girl who she believes is her best friend "OMG I knew it... I told them that I knew you were still alive Blair"

"Yea" holly responds awkwardly because that's how she is feeling right now "Am sorry if we interrupted your party or some sort but we are looking for a Mrs. Waldorf"

"It's me Serena, your S" looking at her with pleading and confident eyes…Hoping to herself that she is not missing anything or not too high from the shots she did with Chuck and Nate. Speaking of Chuck and Nate were the hell are they. Serena turns to look for them and could see them behind her. Chuck was as pale as white, no color was shown on his face and he was beginning to think that this was some sick joke from those stupid Blair haters or Brooklynites while on the other hand Nate?, Nate was beyond confused and thinking if his drink was laced with something powerful because that's the only answer to why he is seeing Blair Waldorf in front of him. In the crowd now facing the elevator where the visitors came from you could see someone pushing her way forward to see if the rumor that her daughter was in the living room was true. Eleanor pushed her way through and came face to face with Holly, she choked up a cry covering her mouth with her hand and rushed towards Holly hugging her so tight she couldn't breathe while murmuring all the time

"You are back… you came back to me"

Holly now released from the Blondie and now sucked back to another hug with this elder woman cannot believe what's happening to her of all days today and the worst part is that the woman was hugging her so tight she couldn't breathe. Holly turns her head back to look at her brother with questioning eyes and to make sure this is not a prank because she is getting fed up. Dave understanding what her eyes meant shook his head and mouthed.

"I have no idea of what is going on"

Holly mouths back to him "help me…can't breathe"

Dave steps up and clears his throat "Ms.?" But it fell on a weeping dead ears he looks around and can see people looking at him like he is crazy for something he has no idea of "Ms. Pls release my sister"

At that Eleanor steps away from Holly and looks at her, then looks back at Dave "your sister?"

Dave rolls his eyes "yes my sister Ms. Now pls can someone pls tell us if we are in the right penthouse"

Eleanor not taking her eyes off holly asks "which penthouse are you looking for"

"The Waldorf penthouse"

"This is it" Eleanor takes off her eyes from Holly and looks at Dave "and who are you and who are you looking for"

"Thank God" Dave mumbles "my name is Dave Astor and that is Holly Astor and this is Sierra Evans Holly's best friend" at that Serena glares at the supposed Holly's best friend eying her up and down and turns her eyes back to Holly to make sure that she is her lost best friend Blair "we are looking for a Ms. Eleanor Waldorf" Dave continues

"Oh Lord you are the Astor's kids?" She looks back at holly "I wasn't expecting you guys till tomorrow"

"Yea you sent a private jet remember?" Dave says through clenched teeth because he doesn't want to appear rude, but can't control it. He has just survived a devastating and stressed up flight with his dear old' sister beside him screaming, shouting, and threatening everyone (mostly the captain). He needs a good night sleep not a 20 questions competition.

"Oh right I am sorry I forgot… you can come inside"

Eleanor turns to Serena and tells her to end the party and send everyone home now. While she takes her suppose guest to the kitchen to wait for everyone to leave, as she follows them with Harold, Chuck and Nate in tow to the kitchen they see a paled Dorota staring at Holly with her mouth opened

"Ms….Ms. Blair...Ms. Blair you are alive"

Eleanor clears her throat "am sorry" she tells Dave and Holly "this is Dorota my trustworthy maid, Dorota this is the Astor kids I told you about Dave and Holly and Holly's best friend Sierra Evans" Dorota stood still looking at Eleanor like she has grown three heads and very stupid that she can't see that this is their Blair Waldorf and her daughter. Eleanor sensing the discomfort from her guest because of everyone staring at them, well mostly discreetly except Dorota who isn't convinced that this person standing in front of her is Holly and not her Ms. Blair "Dorota stop standing there and go help Serena see people out of the house" Dorota scurries off to the living room stopping at the door to look at Holly again.

* * *

In the living room, everyone accost Serena with questions trying to figure out what is happening and why is Eleanor Waldorf's dead daughter In the kitchen. Dan seeing that Serena needed saving from all those people and also needs to know what'S going on because he would love to be in the kitchen with the others but knows it's a family thing which he isn't among .So he goes to Serena's side were three women are questioning her trying to get the gossip from the insider.

"Am sorry ladies but she is needed somewhere, which is a life and death kind of situation" Dan says dragging Serena with him and Serena giving out a society polite smile

"Thank you Dan… OMG... I don't know what's going on if that's what you want to ask me right now, so I am going to ask you not to ask me any questions about why am seeing a Blair Waldorf clone"

"Oh ok... Then I wouldn't... so how do you want to do this"

"Do what?"

"Send everyone home because you can't just tell them to leave"

"I don't know" Serena looks around. Everyone is murmuring and looking at her. So she gathers the guts she never knew she had and steps back on the stage she was on while giving a speech on Blair's behalf before she was interrupted. "Ladies and gentlemen I want to personally say thank you to everyone for coming to this party to celebrate my best friend's birthday. Am sure Blair would appreciate it. But am also sorry to announce that something has come up and we can't continue this party any longer. So am going to kindly say we would really appreciate it if everyone left, so we can solve this family problem. Have a nice day and thank you again. Oh before I forget Dorota is at the entrance and she would be giving you all gifts for coming. Thank you again and am sorry". Serena steps off of the stage and walks up to Dan. "Dan I am sorry but you have to leave with them and I'm not sure Eleanor would appreciate it if you are still here".

"Yea don't worry about it… I get it I was on my way going home but I decided to say goodbye before I left".

"Okay cool. Thanks for coming and am sorry things got complicated"

"If things didn't get complicated then it wouldn't be an upper east side event" he smiles and Serena does the same while looking at each other's eyes. "I have to go, so take care of yourself"

"Yea you too" she comes close to Dan and gives him a hug. She pulls back and Dan exits the penthouse with the other guest.

* * *

In the kitchen, with Holly drumming her nails on the counter mostly because she is nervous and curious as to what's happening. Also confused as to why people are looking at her and calling her Blair. She turns her head because she could sense someone staring at her which everyone is doing it but this person is staring intensely at her. So she turns and looks at him, she stretches out her hand to introduce herself.

"I am holly… I don't think we've been introduced yet"

"No we haven't…I'm Chuck Bass" chuck takes her hand and at that moment it's like the sleeping butterflies which are supposed to be murdered had awoken and fluttering. Chuck sensing that his face expression must be showing how he is actually feeling decided to divert the attention to someone else. "Oh this is Nate Archibald". Nate brings forte his hand and shakes it with Holly's.

"Nice meeting you guys… oh yeah this is my brother Dave and best friend Sierra"... she looks at Chuck and says "well after today I don't think she would still be bearing the title best friend again". Sierra and Dave burst out laughing as they remember the plane ride with Holly screaming murder Mary. "Keep laughing and the title friend will be deducted too". Holly says while glaring at Sierra. At that Nate starts laughing, chuck looks at him and couldn't contain his own laughter because it's like they've been given a second chance to see their best friend again and also see her in her elements with everything like her banters, glares, and insults. They would give up anything to be on the other side of her glares, insults or her threats which Holly just exhibited, especially when she is threatening you, because that's the same way Holly just did now. Holly tries to put up a straight face of being pissed because almost everyone is laughing or looking amused at her, but couldn't keep up a straight face when she remembers how the captain was stammering through his words when she asked what caused the second turbulence and threatened to blow up the jet if any other turbulence hit them again. So she starts laughing and everyone including Harold and Eleanor starts to laugh because even though it might not be their daughter or it might, all they know is that right now it feels good to laugh since it's been long since they did that face expression.

Serena walks into the kitchen to see everyone smiling and laughing "what is going on and why is everyone smiling and laughing". She looks at holly and is 100% sure it's because of her, so she cracks up a smile while looking at Holly while also Holly looks back at her.

Holly recovers and smiles to Eleanor "so whose birthday is it".

Everyone turns somber and it's like she said something horrible. She looks at Dave and Sierra for help because she doesn't know what she did or said wrong.

Eleanor turns to holly and manages to make a smile "it's for my daughter Blair"

Holly looks at her and everyone because that's the same name that everyone has been calling since she stepped into the penthouse. Dave and sierra share a look which didn't go unnoticed by Chuck. Dave speaks up

"Where is the birthday girl" everyone turns more somber if that's even possible.

Serena speaks up this time "she is not around but feels close by" while looking at Holly. Holly still dumbfounded by all this and stares at Serena in the eyes because the Blondie keeps looking at her like she (holly) holds some answers to some unanswered question and she could see the blond girls pleading eyes. Holly confused as to what aspect is she pleading her for when she doesn't have anything of hers. Sierra who has been in the background observing all this commotions and knowing what all this would do to her best friend later decides to change the topic, so she looks up to Eleanor

"Nice house".

In the meantime, when the people where all gone. Eleanor brings everyone to the sitting room were some gifts and cakes were still lying around on the table and Blair's pictures on the walls.

"Omg... Holly that girl looks like you" sierra says while picking up the picture to show Dave and Holly.

"Wow she really looks like you" Dave says in shock. They all turn to look at Holly seeing her face pale. Holly brings her hand to her head as flashes come into her, but these flashes are calm and happy. In her flash she is seeing a Christmas tree and two men holding hands, and a woman standing close to a girl opening presents and wearing a night wear with read polka dots. Although she can't see their faces, but she can see how happy they all are especially the girl. Dave sensing that his sister was having those flashes again takes her hand and squeezes them to snap her out of it while taking the other to take away the Blair picture holly was staring at and gives it back to sierra to put back. Dave clears his throat

"I presume that would be your daughter Blair"

"Yes... I am sorry if we freaked out on you guys, it's just that we thought Holly was Blair my best friend and you can see why we would think that. They obviously look so much alike" this time holly snaps out of the reverie and replies

"No don't worry about it I can see why people would think she looks like me although I can spot some differences between us" holly snaps trying to stop all these ruckus that some girl actually looked like her.

At that chuck speaks up "I don't" Holly looks at him.

"You don't what?" She ask

"I don't see a difference between you both" Chuck says calmly while still looking at holly

Dave tired of all these back and forth banters tries to get to the point why they are here, so they can go to bed because he is actually jet lagged, if that was even a term since he flew a private jet, not a commercial plane or first class.

"Umm like we said when we first came in... we are the Astor's kids and our lawyers said something about you taking us I your custody till we are 18. This am not okay with because my question now is why would our parents do such a thing when we have never met you before and also you guys were not in any of their funerals, so how we supposed to trust you people with my life and my sister's life". Holly grips his arm so that he wouldn't lash out on the Waldorfs because he has been pissed since he heard we would be in their custody.

"Oh... I understand your fears my son" Harold tries to respond to Dave we Harold takes his wife's hand "and your parents and we were so close when they were here in New York. Your mom was Eleanor's best friend they were so close and inseparable just like Serena and Blair. When Gloria found out that she was pregnant it was like she was in-sync with Eleanor because two weeks later Eleanor found out she was pregnant with our Blair. Two months later, your father's business blew up so much that he was needed in California which meant they all had to relocate to manage the company. I am sorry you haven't met us before it's because we had so many things to do here but always kept contact with them on the phone. We lost contact with them few years ago, but they are always in our hearts".

"Then why weren't you in their funerals" holly ask with tears in her eyes. She always gets emotional anytime they talk about her parents.

"We lost our daughter Blair during that time and we were grieving her loss and we still are". Eleanor says with tears in her eyes as well while looking at holly.

Dave squeezes his sister's hand and after being okay with their answers "I want to use this opportunity to say thank you for your hospitality, but I think we will really like to turn in because we are really, really jet lagged". he says

Holly looks at everyone and breathes out. "Ms. Eleanor I know this was not in the plan, but can Sierra stay with us for some days. She came with us to make sure we were ok and it's late so we can't go hotel hunting for her now".

"Oh pls nonsense there are so many rooms in this house that can house at least five more people she can have one of them. Dorota will show you to your rooms" at the mention of her name Dorota comes out to take them to their rooms. She takes Holly upstairs to Blair's room. Holly, Dave and Sierra look at the room wide eyed because the room is exceptional and almost looks like Holly's room without some certain things.

Chuck who has been following them all the time and seeing their face expressions smile because he knows that Blair's room does that to everyone. The calmness and then the beauty of it is just so compelling, so he ask

"Is something wrong?"

Sierra look back at chuck "no nothing is wrong"

Serena who was beside chuck and can't just shake the reality of how this Holly girl isn't Blair asks "then what's the problem?"

"It's just this room feels and looks a lot like Holly's" Sierra say while touching the vanity table

Holly slumps on the bed trying to block everyone out, so she gets up to go use the bathroom as she opens the door. The electric that passes through her is so disturbing, as she opens the door she gets a flush of flashes passing through her like she is close to dying. In her flashes she sees a thirteen year old girl that looks a lot like her (and this being the first time she is actually seeing a face in her flashes) looking at herself in the mirror crying and then going on her knees to make herself throw up and she sees a fourteen year old of herself again and more flashes of that same girl with her face crying, binging and throwing up then all of a sudden everything goes black.


	7. Dear Holly,

**Did you miss me? I know… I know… what? What took me this long? Yea …yea am so, so sorry... life was what happened. Was occupied and the passion was kind of sifting through me. Every cell in my head was screaming leave the story or abandon it, but I just couldn't. I love the story and will try to finish it... I have a lot to give... will try to update early next time. Hope I didn't lose my devoted fans? (Bows head), followers and readers.. If you've been with me from the beginning I want to say a big THANK YOU.. If you just started and love the story and will continue to watch out for it I want to say a big THANK YOU too.. if you have ever reviewed or commented on this story, I want you to know that you guys are my strength and inspiration in continuing this story cos every time I try to abandon the story and I see the reviews and comments it brings me back to finish the story, so a big THANK YOU and to every other person a big THANK YOU too.**

**PS: I once said I would be uploading on Tuesdays which I do but not every Tuesdays, if I did I am sorry I can't, but will try though...love you my fans.. Do not own g-girl but own Sierra**

* * *

_Holly… Holly_

Was the last thing she heard before she slipped into the darkness.

"Omg Holly" Dave yells with all his might. Chuck who was standing at the door with Serena ran in, to help Dave carry Holly to the bed.

"What's happening to her" Chuck asked then Holly starts convulsing and shaking a little bit on the bed. Nate and Serena are surrounded by the bed looking at holly trying to figure out what to do, Eleanor and Harold just entered the room with Dorota in tow. Dave looks up at Sierra and she understands the look that was given to her and goes into holly's side back pack to take out the syringe medications that was prescribed to Holly from the doctor in case this type of situation occurs. She gives it to Dave and Dave takes the required medication that was needed and pierces it into Holly's porcelain skin like he has been shown to do by the doctor. After the drug had been administered into Holly's body she becomes calm and relaxed. Dave breathes out in relief.

"What is wrong with her" Eleanor ask

"Nothing is wrong with her" Dave snaps at the lady.

"Umm she…" Sierra started but wasn't sure what to say, so Dave speaks up instead

"She has been under stress since this year, well mostly since our parents died, so she has taken it upon herself to arrange and organize the events".

"Does this happen to her every time she is under stress" Chuck asked again

"No" Dave says "it has only happened twice, during our parent's memorial service and now today" Dave said looking around the room and at the faces of everyone in the room. And looking at them you could see they were all looking scared like they were about to lose a daughter, sister or best friend. Dave clears his throat and says to Harold "she is asleep now and crowding her wouldn't do her much… I and Sierra will be sleeping here today to keep her company".

"Okay … in case something comes up call us we are just few flights down" Harold says while looking at the young man who looked distressed and sad seeing his sister like that on the bed. Harold turns to Serena "well let's go pack in your bags into your rooms too Serena… Chuck?" Because he being a lawyer has made him notice things in his late daughter's best friends like knowing these two especially wouldn't be leaving this penthouse knowing someone that looks like Blair is upstairs.

"Of course Mr. Waldorf my driver has already brought in our bags… don't worry sis your bags are there too" chuck looks at Nate "Nate are you staying too… I mean it's late we can all leave tomorrow".

"Yea I will be staying" he says while looking at Chuck, Serena and then Holly. They all file out of the room and headed into the Waldorf's kitchen.

* * *

After a few minutes of just looking at each other in the kitchen, everyone's in deep thoughts, no one's making a sound, scared that they would disrupt the creation of the dream they all are believed to be in. Eleanor looks up at them all.

"Gloria had only one kid" she said "but I can't remember if it was male or female" she says again while looking at Harold "and I am hundred percent sure they didn't have a set of twins".

"I don't know Eleanor" Harold says while still looking at the kitchen table "but we will know when the lawyer comes in tomorrow to read them their parents will".

"Chuck can call your P.I to look into this?" Serena says while looking at chuck.

"Already done that, he says that he will get back to me tomorrow" chuck says quietly, but like a man on a mission.

"Well what are we doing awake then, we have a lot of things to face and do tomorrow. We should all go have some rest and prepare for what tomorrow will be in store for us". Eleanor says while looking around the table and standing up. "Dorota see them to their rooms pls and good night" then she leaves followed by Harold and Dorota.

Serena looks at Nate and Chuck "what do you guys think".

"Think about what" Nate says

"Think about holly Nate, is she really Holly or..."

"Blair?" Chuck states while looking at Serena from the corner of his eyes. He could see Serena nod. "I think she is a lot like our missing girl, looks like her and even retorts and talks like her, but..."

"But what" Serena growls unintentionally because she really wants what's in her head to be true which is she wants Holly to be her Blair, but doesn't care how it's going to happen. Chuck glares at her for interrupting him.

"But I think it's either she really is Holly or a very good liar at pretending not to be Blair".

"Why do you say so" Nate finally speaks up after witnessing the exchange between Serena and Chuck

"Because she was so good at looking shocked when she saw Blair's picture, so am going to say we wait till tomorrow to see what we really do have" he says the last part why looking at Serena. Serena glares at him. "Ok then with all that said, I agree with Eleanor we should all go take some sleep, by tomorrow we will get the full news and details".

"Ok then goodnight" Serena says while pushing out her chair and going into her room. Nate and Chuck do the same too.

* * *

Few hours later in the night, Holly wakes up and to her right she could see Dave and to her left Sierra. She sighs deeply not knowing what really happened but after crawling out of the bed and using the drawer where the night stand sits she could see a syringe which told her all the story about what truly happened to her "Shit". She didn't want her first night at her now new house to be about her mini-dying (that's what she now calls it). So she slips out of the room and walks the stairs to the kitchen, the administered drugs always leaves her parched and she needs liquids in her body to make her body function if she doesn't want to go mini-dying again. She opens the fridge and takes a bottle as she was about to close the fridge the kitchen lights go on which startles her and makes her drop her water bottle on the ground. She turns around to see the staring guy whose name was… ummm… Chuck.., Chuck? Yea Chuck.

"Are you crazy… did you want to give me a heart attack or something. You don't go sneaking up to people without making any noise". Holly says out of breathe and a little angry because she was… might she say it… scared? Chuck comes close to her and she could feel the heat that's emitting from his body, but he bends down and picks up her already forgotten water bottle and hands it to her. With their fingers slightly touching, she felt tingles then little goose bumps which she already declared in her head were because of the fridge.

"Isn't making noises in the dark more scary than putting on the light" Chuck ask while still feeling the burn and tingles that were left by her touch that was leaving him wanting more of her touch.

"What are you doing awake?" Holly says trying to change the topic and moving out of hand reach from chuck just in case she touches him again and feels those burning tingles.

"I could ask you the same" Chuck says while looking at her intently like he was trying to read her or figure her out. But she answers his question by waving the water bottle at him. "I couldn't sleep; let's just say the party yesterday was off the roof and more than we all expected, came from it".

"Oh" was all she could say

"How are you doing?" Was all he has been dying to know since he saw her fall and convulse and the fear of losing that face from the face of this earth staked him again. That's what has kept him awake and when he heard someone in the kitchen and saw her all he wanted to ask was if she was ok and what she needed because no matter how late it was he would provide it as far as that face was still alive.

"I am ok, I guess this year have been very trying and hard on us. I don't know how to handle stress very well" she looks down at the bottle while playing with the bottle in her hand then looks up to look at the boy in front her and in his face she could see concern and a will to protect her, but doesn't know why he would want to protect a girl he just met yesterday. Oh yea she remembers she looks like their lost friend. "I guess it's just me and Dave now although Dave pretends that he is coming out of all this strong and ready to face life. I still know he crumbles sometimes and I just want to be there for him too you know".

"Yea Dave… he is just looking out for you. Maybe he thinks that showing a lot of emotion would push you away and you wouldn't bring your problems to him anymore because you would think he would fall apart". He says while looking at Holly and what he says hits a little close to home because he regrets not really opening up to Blair and shutting her out because he was scared she would see him and might not like what she sees and things would change. He hates change.

"Yea I guess you are right" Holly says while staring at Chuck. And after some few minutes of just standing and being in a comfortable silent, Holly clears her throat "wow look at the time I guess I need to go back to bed and catch some sleep and you need to also get some beauty sleep" she smiles and walks up to him and kiss him on the cheeks "thanks for the talk". Then she leaves the kitchen for her room.

"Thank you too" chuck says in a whisper still in shock and amazed. He brings up his hands to touch the base of the kiss stamp. Shaking his head he knows he sure as hell will be getting a beauty sleep and the best his ever had in a very long, long time.

* * *

In the room, Holly silently close the door and sigh happily, drops the bottle on the night stand and slips back into bed trying not to wake Dave or Sierra, but that was just not going to work out how she had planned it because they were already sitting before her head could hit the pillow.

"How are you feeling" Dave ask with concern laced in his voice

"I am fine now" she says looking to her left and right

"You haven't fallen like this since your dad and mom's memorial service" Sierra quips

"I know" Holly says

"Is it this place?" Dave asks "because it has to be this place, if it's this place first thing tomorrow morning we tell them we can't stay here and we move into a hotel".

You know we can't do that, that would be rude… mom taught you better" Holly says looking at Dave "by the way it's not the house and even it was we couldn't go anywhere. Mom and Dad gave them custody of us remember?"

"Yea? We are not sure yet" Dave says "we will know from the lawyer in the morning". He looks at her and knows she is in deep thoughts even though its dark and the only light in the room is the one coming from the full moon outside the windows. "You know that Blair girl looks a lot like you Holly".

"Yea" she says trying not to look at him. She has been dreading this conversation since she picked up the Blair portrait

"Could she be..." Sierra begins

"No" Holly growls out angrily

"How sure can you be" Dave retorts

"As sure as I can be" which was not a good answer for Dave and Sierra because they all knew she was not sure but decided to drop the topic for maybe another time.

* * *

When morning rolled in everyone woke up to take their breakfast. They were all seated in the now longer dining table. After exchanging morning pleasantries, they all sat down with Dorota bringing out the food from the kitchen while the seated hungry people were seated and waiting on the Astors. Finally they showed up with Holly missing in the gang, Dave and Sierra take their seat.

"We are sorry for coming down late, Holly was having a slight headache" Dave said while taking a plate from Dorota.

"Is she alright, do you need me to call the family doctor because I will and she will be here in five minutes or less" Eleanor said with that kind of flare that will tell you that she could command the red sea to dry up and it would really dry up at her command.

"No she is alright she just took her medications, she will need some breakfast though" Dave responds to Eleanor and tries to deflect her fears on something being wrong with his sister.

"Oh don't worry Dorota will do that" Eleanor say while turning to Dorota who was returning from the kitchen with a tray of food and orange juice inside and already taking it up to Holly's room. She was such a good housekeeper and knew that the little Miss. Blair look alike would need breakfast in bed when she didn't see her with Dave and Sierra.

"Oh I was thinking if you would want to join Nate and I at the court to play some that's if you play" Chuck say while ignoring the look from Nate because he knows Chuck hates new people in the court that was what he told him when he invited Carter Baizen to the court.

"Oh that would be great Dave is a big time Basket Ball player... you should see him play and Holly cheer. It is like a game between them both she knows when he is about to score and knows which cheer to give him when he scores, it's a sibling thing am still trying to figure out".

"Sierra don't hurt your blonde head because Holly makes it very easy for you, so you could catch up" that comment elicited a laughter from chuck which made everyone turn to him to watch. Chuck clears his throat

"I know what you mean Serena and Nate here are so like that". He remembers how he and Blair had to narrate and dissemble a conversation to them both just so they would understand and be on board. "So is that a yes"

"Yea of course am going to be there, I have been meaning to stretch my legs if we were in Cali. I would have gone surfing or something... we can go after the will's been read". Dave says while forking through some eggs.

"That reminds me the lawyer will be here by 11am, so you and Holly should be ready by then" Eleanor reminds him and he nods.

* * *

After breakfast Dave and Sierra go in to their rooms to get ready for the lawyer. When it strikes 10:30am the lawyer saunters into the living room taking a seat on the white chaise. Eleanor and Harold get themselves seated on a couch while Dave, Holly and Sierra come down the stairs and take their seats on the other couch in the living room. The lawyer clears his throat

"I wasn't expecting another young female in the room apart from Miss. Holly" the lawyer says while looking at Sierra

"Oh she is my best friend and practically like my own sister… she is here to render me some strength if I need it" Holly responds to the lawyer.

"Ok then... we will begin; this will is a collaboration of wills between your parents Gloria Astor and Clinton Astor and I read, "If you both are reading this then am sure that we both have already passed away. I am sorry I wasn't strong enough to have fought this ill sickness" the lawyer looks at the kids "that's from your mom", he looks at Holly as he sees a tear slip out. "Dave I want you to take care of yourself and Holly and same goes to you Holly, take care of Dave I know he might be head strong sometimes and act like everything is alright but nothing is in his own world. I love you both so much. I wish I was there to see you both grow up to who you are meant to be that is why we are giving the Waldorfs, custody of you guys till you both are 21 and can live on your own if you two want or rather stay with them and take them as your new guardian or parents. I have always known Eleanor and Harold for a very long time and they are great people, you guys are in great hands and we couldn't have picked any other better people than them and I know you will be leaving California and be going to New York, but New York is great when you get used to the place, I promise. I and your dad truly love you both so much". The lawyer clears his throat

"That was a written letter from them now the will, this is from your father, "When it comes to the Astor industries I give thirty percent of the shares to the board members, twenty percent to my daughter Holly and the remaining fifty percent to my son Dave. They all would be able to take over their shares and the industry when they have come of age of twenty-one and it would be their choice on how their shares can be handled. It will also be their choice if to go back to California to head the company or stay and head it from the New York branch. I wish you all the best love Dad". This is from Gloria Astor "I give Holly sole owner ship of the House of Astor Event Decorations she has always loved to organize and decorate things I wish I was there to see what you would do with everything". Again from your father "I Clinton David Astor bequeath all my North, West and East California properties to my son Dave Astor which includes the Buildings... Firms... and so on. I also give out all my south properties to my daughter which includes the malls she loves so much, summer houses ….

* * *

In the other room in the penthouse, Serena places her ear close to the door to see if she could hear anything, but couldn't hear a thing. She breathes out haggardly and stares at Chuck like telling him to do something and Chuck looks back at her like she is crazy and asking with his what the hell do you want me to do. Chuck's phone starts blaring. He answers it with his eyes wide and then nods and says "really? Wow… okay keep digging" he snaps his phone.

"That was Andrew" he says while looking around the room to see their eager faces waiting to pounce on him. "Get this, he confirms that Dave is truly the Astor's kid and that there are no papers or anything on Holly it's like her record was wiped clean or something".

"So that means holly is not one of the Astor's kids"? Serena ask with a gleam in her eyes

"Serena I don't think it means that it just means that there are just no records on her". Nate says trying not to look at Serena because he could feel the daggers being thrown at him "maybe it means that she has a clean record or has not done any crime to put in a record or the Astor's just didn't want to expose her" he says diligently looking at chuck

"He is right Serena" Chuck breathes through the word while sitting down on the bed. "We don't know anything till Andrew gets back to me again".

* * *

In the living with the will already read and done the lawyers brings out a letter and hands it to Holly. "This is for you Ms. Astor your father said I should give it to you after am done reading the will". Holly couldn't take the letter, she just kept on looking at it like it's going to eat her alive, so Dave takes it from the lawyers hands puts it into holly's hands. The lawyer stands up and packs everything into his bag and looks at the Waldorfs and then the Astor kids "that will be all is there any questions on the will". The kids shake their heads and so does the Waldorfs. He takes his leave then with Eleanor in tow.

* * *

Eleanor stops the lawyer with a touch on his shoulders and he turns to look at her somber face, then she asks.

"Are both the kids, Gloria and Clinton's kids?" Eleanor ask

"According to the will, yea they are both the Astor's kids" the lawyer says looking at her intently "will that be all Ms.?"

"Yes, that will be all thank you for coming"

"No problem, thank you for having me" he takes his leave while Eleanor goes back into the living room.

* * *

The room door opens and out comes Chuck, Nate and Serena. At hearing them Holly wipes her tears and stands up to leave the living room for her room.

"Holly... Holly" he tries to go follow but Sierra draws him back and says

"Let her be she is an emotional roller coaster right now". Dave nods and sits back; he glances up to Chuck who was staring at Holly's retreating body and Nate and says " ?" With a sad forced smile.

* * *

In the room Holly was crying on the bed with her face buried into the pillow she brings up her hand to still see the letter that she has been grasping to like it was a life source. She opens it

_Dear holly,_

_I am going to try and get straight to the point love; I know this year has been a big over the hill for you. Before you came, our lives were all dark thoughts and death. That's until you came along and chased the dark clouds that have been hanging over our heads and brought back the sun. With you around we learned how to breathe and live in the moment and not think too much about tomorrow and what the future brings. I know it's been so tough with you trying not to remember anything and they more you chase them away the more they will keep knocking you down. You have to learn to accept that your past will always keep knocking at your door because without our past dear we can't learn from our mistakes and we can't build a solidified future and that's what I want for you and Dave. a solid future. I took the liberty of hiring a P.I to find out who you were before and he found out some reports and news but I didn't get to read or know who you were before because I was ok with who you were now and that's all I care about. We love you so much, but at the same time we know one day you would want to know who you were so I left the P.I's contact with John Axel (the lawyer). Whenever you need it, you can collect it from him. Thank you for everything you have done for us._

_Love _

_Clinton and Gloria Astor._

* * *

At the court yard with Chuck, Nate, Dave and some other guys playing. Chuck turns to Dave as the were going to get some water from their bags

"So how was the reading" he ask

"It was …it was great though emotionally wrecking for Holly" Dave answer while bouncing the ball on the ground and fishing out his water from the back-pack.

"Yea, sorry I know how hard it is losing a parent" Dave looks up at him for him to continue "I lost my mom when I was little" Chuck says quietly and Dave nods muttering a "sorry". "Don't worry it's been long. So Holly your sis, you think she will be alright?"

"I hope so... she didn't take my parent's death well" Chuck looks at him when he heard the word "my" and not "our" "she will come out strong, she always does". As he was talking, Eric Van Der Woodsen comes into the court to see his brother and ask why he and Serena weren't home last night. While getting there he could see Chuck talking to the most handsome blue-eyed man he has ever seen.

"Chuck what are you doing here… you guys didn't come home last night" Eric says instead when all he wants to say is who is this guy.

"Some things came up so we slept at the Waldorfs instead. Eric meet Dave Astor, Dave meet my step-brother Eric Van Der Woodsen".

"Nice meeting you Dave" Eric says with his cheeks colored in crimson blush that chuck caught and tried hiding his own smirk.

* * *

After reading the letter Holly buries her head into the pillow to hide her cries. After some minutes a knock was heard and when she looked up to see the person while expecting someone familiar to her before yesterday, instead she gets Serena Van Der Woodsen

"Are you ok?" Serena ask with concern all etched into her face. Holly looks at her and shakes her head. "I am sorry it must have been hard for you to hear what they wrote or said".

"Yea, but am ok. I mean am a million or rather a billion dollar rich". Holly tries to laugh it off, but couldn't. "I miss them already. I mean I have been missing them since their memorial service, but now it's just a new set of feelings". She says while looking at Serena in the eyes

"I get what you mean a little though" Serena says while lying back first on the bed and staring at the ceiling, Holly does the same and all her tears are dried up. "When I lost Blair every morning came with a new set of rush sad feelings and I couldn't make them stop. Until I realized that even though gone she is always around in our hearts".

"Yea I guess you are right" Holly looks at Serena "never took you as a wise one" she says while smiling.

"I have my moments we all do and you have a new set of family and friends here like me and Nate and Chuck" Serena says while looking at her intently like waiting for her to agree that they are all are friends.

"Yea new friends with old ones because Sierra would scalp me if I left her considering she will be in New York for a very long time since her mom agreed to let her move to New York. New Schools, malls, and shops" she breathes in deeply "hmmm".

"Yea shopping, we will go shopping you me and Sierra think about the fun" Serena smiles. "I guess you and Sierra will be attending Constance with me too".

"Constance hmm... "then mummurs "can't wait to be there".

* * *

READ AND REVIEW...THANKS


	8. Thanks for the ride

**i am sorry this story took long to come to you guys... well it didnt take that long..but i promise to finish this story before fall classes start. because then i can only concentrate on Fuck Yale and the next chapter will be up soon and it would be a thanksgiving merry or disaster(who knows).**

* * *

It was 5:59 in the morning at the Waldorf penthouse, everywhere was so quiet to the extent you could hear a pin drop and when it clocked 6:00 am the alarm at the maid's quarters starts blaring waking the watchdog herself Dorota. In a certain Miss. Blair Waldorf's bedroom you could see a sandwich of bodies just lying around on the bed with a certain lady Holly Astor in the middle and her knights by her sides with her brother Dave at her right hand side and her best friend Sierra at her left hand side. With holly sleeping softly on her bed and face facing her brother, Dave snoring lightly next to his sis, but lying back first on the bed and facing upward and sierra snoring so loud lying on her side with her face facing her best friend and her hand on holly's Tommy, blonde hair everywhere and legs sprawled like a kid on Holly's body. It was so quiet in the room with soft and loud snores and then it clocks 6:30 am and the Astor's alarm starts blaring waking the trinity kids up with Sierra and Dave moaning and groaning.

"Someone should turn that off" Sierra groans and moans at the same time because it was giving her a headache.

"Ugg it's at Dave's side… Dave I know your ass is awake turn it off" Holly says while shaking Dave up and he groans and turns to his left and turns the alarm clock off.

"You guys can never just keep quiet and let me sleep... who in their rightful mind puts a 6:30am alarm" he groans while turning to find a good cold spot where he can lie and go back to sleep.

"I did" Holly says while yawning, sierra groans again murmuring some curse words at her with "bitch" spurring from her mouth…"we have school today lazy bones" Holly sits up while stretching she looks at her sides and looks at her brother and so called best friend trying to go back to sleep. She musters up the conserved strength that's within her and pushed Sierra off the bed knowing it would be easier done and to her other side she does the same to her brother. With two great thuds heard from the room and hard hurried steps heard from the stairs.

"What the fuck Holly" Dave comes up with anger shown on his face

"Like seriously Holly I could have broken something" Sierra says with a wide eye. That's when they heard the knock

"Miss Holly, Mr. Dave, and Miss. Sierra are everything alright?"

"Yes Dorota everything is just peachy here, just waking some lazy bones up" she says with a smile tugging on her lips

"Oh ok Dorota" Dorota thinks to herself "that this girl behaves and reminds her of her Miss. Blair and they still say she is another" she shakes her head and leaves.

Sierra comes back into the bed but this time sitting up Indian style, Dave comes back too but lies down back first while having a glaring match with Holly like they always did when one disapproved the others' behaviors and anyone that linked first lost and the other has to continue with what he/she was doing, Holly always won (or he always let her win), but not today and he wasn't back down, his inner bitch was showing because he was going to sleep in and needed the sleep. Holly blinked and Dave gives her a sly smile which resulted to him gaining a punch in the arm from Holly.

"Ow!" Dave screams rubbing the affected place

Holly breathes out "we have school today guys, first day of school to be precise" Holly says while staring at the exquisite closet with their uniforms hanging out.

"Yea… Yea we heard you the first time new school, new friends, and teachers" Sierra says while looking at Holly "what's the name of this school anyway?"

"We will be going to Constance while Dumbo here she says while pointing at Dave will be going to St. Jude's"

"Hey I don't have big ears in fact I have perfect sculptured ears" he says pretending to look hurt at Holly which left the two girls giggling

"Are you ready to be in a new school Holz?" Sierra says while turning serious and looking at Holly.

"Yea I am so ready she says while reaching out her hand and holding Dave and sierra's hand "as far as I have you two beside me I know I can weather any storm" she says while getting up and going into the bathroom with Sierra in tow to get ready for the day.

* * *

At the school's courtyard everyone is outside awaiting the arrival of the said Blair Waldorf lookalike or Blair Waldorf herself, everyone wants to see her and be the judge if she truly is Blair Waldorf's double or not. Close to the gate Chuck Bass keeps straightening his school uniform like there is an inspector coming over to inspect him beside him is Nate Archibald who keeps looking at his watch; all of a sudden a wind of blond came flying their way.

"Geez Serena all the time you spent with Blair, you didn't pick up how to keep this blonde hair of yours tidy or in place with a band or something from her" Chuck says while trying to remove said hair from his mouth because the wind picked that moment to blow causing Serena's hair to be in his face.

"Sorry Chuck I was rushing and trying to be on time" Serena says breathlessly "and I didn't find any cabs around even your limo although I thought you would take it to school, but it wasn't back when I was ready". She looks around and sees people all looking around like they were all waiting for someone "speaking of Blair looks like we all are waiting for the same certain person or lookalike".

"Chuck here hasn't touched a joint and he keeps picking out some invisible lint from his uniform" Nate smugly says while looking at Chuck.

"Shut up Nate unlike you both, I have always loved to look presentable and they said a good impression always matters". Thinking to himself what if they come to the school and hate it and the people and decide to just go back California. Some form of darkness passed through his eyes which Serena and Nate didn't get to see.

"Well I am sure they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, by the way Harold and Eleanor are now their custodial parents, so they can't just leave, she just can't" Serena says while looking at a limo which she is sure looks a lot like chucks' "isn't that not your limo?"

"Yes...Yes it is" chuck says while looking at the arrival of the Astor's'. The first to come out was Dave eliciting awes and Omg from the crowd, I mean the guy was handsome he would give him that even Nathaniel's cuteness did not come close to Dave's own. Dave extended his hand back into the car and Chuck's heart rate picked up, but when Dave brought out Sierra who he was not expecting his heart rate went back to its previous beats. Sierra is just like Serena, but in a tame kind of way gold hair everywhere but in a neat and tidy way, her school shirt popping out a button where you can almost see her racks, but not like Serena's whereby her own shirt has two button open hell you can see her bra and everything…like seriously you can't ask her to show you her breast because you have a view of it already. Chuck shakes his head Sierra was wearing a short plaid uniform skirt like Serena's but in a red plaid color. Unlike Serena's which is green and also shorter, but Sierra was wearing a thigh high boots with heels like seriously who wears boot heels to school. Chuck berates out loud "we have another Serena on our hands" he mutters. Nate starts giggling, Serena punch Chuck in the arm and glares at Nate for giggling. At last the long awaited one comes forth, Dave extends his hands again and Chuck's heart feels like everyone in school could hear it. Holly steps out leaving everyone in the courtyard open eyed and mouth gaping. She was looking like a sexy student and was looking sophisticated in it, her brown mocha hair were in ringlets of curls with little red flower pins in a horizontal line in her hair making it look like she was wearing a headband. she was wearing a pristine white shirt which was all buttoned up with a black silk bow with the ends long, her shirt were tucked in like a good student with bad intentions, her skirt were dark navy blue that almost looked black and it flowed like Serena and Sierra's but in a decent way and was wearing blacks tights and black shoes. Chuck was still open mouthed when they were approaching them Serena had to nudge him and Nate to shake them up from their trance.

"Hey guys I am sorry we were late, it was hard waking these two up" Holly says with a smile and looking around to see that people were actually staring at her.

"Yea says the girl that hogged the bathroom taking her an hour to get ready" Dave said in a teasing way to Holly"

"Hey that wasn't me... That was Sierra" Holly says

"Holz can we stop pointing fingers and just go inside already" Sierra says while now noticing the stares from the students "umm guys why are everyone staring at us like they haven't seen a human being before?"

"Oh I think they are still in shock because of the pure resemblance between Holly and Blair" Serena says eliciting "oh's" from the Astor's "don't worry give it time they will stop, you can enjoy being the most important and most talked person in school" Serena says while looking at Holly, she knew would have loved the attention.

"A girl can get used to this" Holly says while looking around "my own mini fans and paparazzi" causing laughter from the three Upper Crust residents.

Chuck laughs out aloud making Holly look at him with a bewildered look, this being the second time she has heard him laugh and his smiles are beautiful Chuck looks up at Holly "trust me you will get tired of it and will be begging them to let you be" Chuck says while looking at holly's chocolate brown eyes and for a second it was like he was drawn into them.

"Yea that's true" Serena says spoiling the magic that was going on "stick with me and you will get through with it this day, common lets go inside" she says while hooking hands with Sierra and telling her she loved her plaid skirt, Nate and Dave walked together talking about the lacrosse game Dave could join since the school doesn't have a basket ball team. While Chuck and Holly walked into the school quietly while stealing glances from each other.

"Thanks for the lift…ride…" Holly says unknowingly which makes her pause and look at Chuck

"You were a… chuck started to say, but caught himself and stares at Holly still in shock "holy shit" his head screams.

"I mean thanks for the limo; it was comfortable and had so many amenities inside it... I enjoyed the ride" Holly keeps on rambling making Chuck take her hand to stop her from talking.

"It was a pleasure" Chuck says slyly "I heard from an inside source that you loved the cushion leather seats" making holly mutter "stupid Dave"... they keep on walking with so many eyes on them and whispers heard.

"_Omg she sure looks like Blair Waldorf_" one said

"_She even has Blair Waldorf's headband trademark"_ another said which caused Holly to unconsciously touch hair.

"_She doesn't look anything like Blair_" another said then all of a sudden phones start blaring and people start flipping and sliding their phones to check their messages and "wow and Omg" were heard.

_She brought gossip girl well temporarily back from her hiatus_ Holly heard one say.

"What's happening" Holly ask Serena, Chuck and Nate with confusion written on her face and both on Dave and Sierra's.

"It's just a blog of some lonely asshole who sends her little devils to follow us around and invade our privacy just to get tidbit news from our lives" Serena says all at once with anger emitting from her because she didn't want gossip girl disturbing Holly or make her life miserable just like it already made theirs miserable "well everyone in school is subscribed to her, but don't worry she wouldn't be of any disturbance she is still on hiatus".

"Can I see what she wrote about?" Sierra says while asking for Serena's phone. She takes the phone to see the message from gossip girl with Holly and Dave behind her reading the reports.

**Gossip Girl: hello Upper Eastsiders did you miss me? I know y'all did well with the amount of "please come back" messages I received from you guys, I almost thought my inbox was going to shut down, but today's messages were a lot that I couldn't just resist not putting my own two cents in. However I couldn't neglect this story any longer, who am I seeing, is that Blair Waldorf or her clone. My sources say she is the new resident in the Waldorf's household Holly Astor, her HOT! Brother Dave Astor and her alluring BFF Sierra Evans. Tell me if I am wrong, but she sure as hell looks like our unforgotten Queen B. one thing's for sure there's more to this mystery girl.**

**PS: I am still on hiatus just had to tell this story, who knows I might be back to post some scandalous details on the Astor heiress. You know you love me xoxo.**

At the end of the post you could see a picture of Dave, Holly and Sierra respectively standing in front of the limo. "Wow" was the only thing Holly could say and before anyone could say any other thing the bell rang and they looked at each other. "See you at lunch?" She ask her brother he nods and leaves with Nate and Chuck while the girls walk into their classes.

* * *

In the class everyone was looking at Holly like she was some fallen angel. Which made it awkward for Sierra because everyone was taking her best friends time away from her, it was like they were all pretending to be her friend or glad to have her talk to them, everything just felt weird. On the other hand, Holly was so happy to be getting all these attention from all her fellow girls back at California it was only her, Sierra and Dave's ex-girlfriend before he broke up with her. Here she gets to know and meet new people that adore her and for some unknown reason she actually loves and adores the attention given to her and doesn't want to change anything.

"Karen is that the new Jimmy Choos red pumps you are wearing?" The Karen girl looks at her shoes and nods "that looks so cute on you" Holly compliments making the girl blush.

"Th…thank you I love how you set the red pins on your hair, they look adorable" the Karen girl comments taking a seat in front of Holly

This kept on going on every time she shared a class with Holly, it was like she was invincible and rarely was she included in the conversation. It's just been a day and she already is been forgotten how about a year then? She bets Holly won't remember her name. Finally the lunch bell rang and Sierra taps Holly on her shoulder to gain her attention

"Hey what sup… is this school nice or what?" Holly exclaims happily and Sierra just didn't know how to say what she wanted to say. She didn't want to burst her happy bubble.

"Yea it's so fun" sierra says forcing the smile, which Holly noticed as she was about to confront her on the fake smile Serena struts in with four girls on her tail.

"Holz, Sierra" she says which makes Sierra backtrack and want to confront her on the nickname she called Holly, that's her nickname for Holly, no one gets to call her that not even Dave. "Are you guys ready for lunch, we are going to the Met steps to have lunch".

"Why the Met steps?" Sierra ask "why not the courtyard or the lunch room and will the boys know where we are"

"It's so much fun at the Met steps and don't worry about the boys they will be there" Serena says all smiles "and you get to see tourist miss their ways or get lost, all types fashions and even cute guys" she says with a wink to Sierra which was not returned.

Holly turns to Sierra and ask "are you up for it?" Holly says with pleading eyes

"Yea I will meet you guys there" she says

"Why wouldn't you follow us" Holly ask trying to figure out what the matter was

"Oh I want to go to a fruit store and get some red-grapes I forgot to pack them and you know how I get if I don't eat them"

"Right you get cranky and I get to suffer through it... I can come with you and we will meet Serena there" which did not sit well with Serena because she wanted them all to walk there the journey to the Met steps are always fun.

"Don't worry I will meet you there as fast as I can"

"Oh ok" Holly says "see ya" Serena say while hooking hands with Holly, Sierra watched them leave the class while she packs her books into her bag to rush to the store.

* * *

At the courtyard with Dave, Nate and Chuck looking for the girls with no success and the Constance girls staring open wide at Dave which made him feel uncomfortable "where are the girls" he ask Chuck which formed a smirk on his face, if this were under other circumstances like say a strip club the question would be a good one.

"If they are not here they would be at the …. "Chuck was saying

"Just got a text from Serena… they are at the Met steps" Nate says while holding out his phone

"That's what I thought" Chuck says "looks like Serena is showing the girls around" Chuck smirks as he sees Eric coming their way. "Eric you still remember Dave right?"

"Ye..Yea I met him at the court the other day" Eric tried to respond nonchalantly which he was failing at so well which was making chuck's smirk grow "hi" he brings his hand to shake Dave's

Dave shakes his hand too "hi" he says he noticed that they were still holding hands or Eric was still holding his hand. Dave clears his throat which Eric releases his hand while muttering a "sorry" and Dave saying "no problem" Dave could see some crimson blush on the boy's cheek which made Dave smile he is used to doing that to girls, but not to boys…Yet.

Chuck who had been pretending to browse his phone like Nate, but wasn't oblivious to what was going around him like Nate clears his throat "we are going to the steps to see your sis and Dave's sis want to join us?" He ask Eric

"Yea sure"

* * *

At the fruit store while Sierra was trying to decide which fruit to pick for holly a girl with raven hair approach her "I know you"

"Umm no you don't" sierra responds awkwardly

"You are the girl in the gossip girl post with the Blair Waldorf look alike"

"Oh that? Yea I am the girl" sierra turns back to her fruit picking while ignoring the raven haired girl until a thought hits her "hi I am Sierra.. Sierra Evans"

"I am Vanessa Abrams"

"What do you know about this famous Blair Waldorf...? I mean I have been hearing her name everywhere like she was loved by everyone, but it just sounds and looks weird"

"Oh Blair? Blair Waldorf was a force to be reckoned with" Vanessa says while checking an avocado "don't get me wrong we were never friends and she was a bitch, but she knew she was a bitch. She cared and fought for her friends, but when it came for her so called friends to fight for her they all fled that's why she was in that plane that day, she was fleeing new York as I heard from gossip girl, you know the site" Vanessa looks at the girl who was no longer shopping, but now listening intently at her "that's why gossip girl closed down or went on hiatus whichever one. You can find so many things about Blair Waldorf on the site. Someone once told me if you Googled revenge you would find her name there". Vanessa says while sierra mutters a "thank you very much" with a lot of in formations she sure had, she knows she would be talking to Holly very soon.

* * *

At the met steps Serena and Holly were sitting high at the steps and the girls below were looking at them and putting in their cents in the conversation once in a while Holly asked where they would be spend their thanksgiving, Serena says "that the Waldorfs always threw a thanksgiving dinner every year, so this year will hopefully be the same". Holly spots her brother with Chuck and Nate and waves them over. When they climb up she hugs Dave and gives a smile to Chuck and Nate, that's when she spots the little blonde boy that has been staring at Dave then she looks from Dave to Chuck who was smirking in a corner. "Hi I'm not sure we've met I am Holly Astor Dave's sister" that's when Eric turns to look at the girl that was talking for the first time.

"Oh my God she... She looks a lot like … Eric was rambling and stammering at the same time.

"Blair Waldorf?" Holly says "I guess I have been hearing that a lot lately"

"Wow it's like you are a clone or something" Eric says "well I am Eric Van Der Woodsen Serena's brother... I am actually shocked she hasn't told you about me"

"Ohh little Van Der Woodsen Holly says while looking at him and seeing the shocked face from Eric's face "oh Serena told me about you I just didn't see a picture to put the face into the said name"

"Wow that's the same name Blair calls me with" Eric says

"Oh wow I called you little Van Der Woodsen because of how tall Serena is and then you no offence though" then she glances up and sees her best friend Sierra coming "oh see who decides to show, Eric meet my best friend Sierra, Sierra meet Eric Van Der Woodsen Serena's brother". The exchange pleasantries "what did you get for me"

"I bought you your favorite fruit strawberries, I forgot the whip cream though" before she could continue Holly hugs her sputtering "S... thank you and you are my favorite" and Sierra could see Serena watching them over Blair's shoulder and could see the longing in her face, but it wasn't only her who noticed it because Chuck and Eric saw it too.

* * *

In the Waldorf's penthouse, Holly was glancing and flipping through her Vogue magazine while Sierra was sitting on the bed looking at Holly and Holly still wasn't looking up, so she decides to clear her throat to gain her attention. Then Holly drops her magazine and looks at her like "what?" "Have you thought of what I've said about this Blair Waldorf girl, I mean everyone thinks you look like her and you also need know who you are dealing with in school because with how they all just want to be with you feels weird and in some kind of way seems like they are apologizing to this Blair girl through you"

"Are you jealous" Holly says teasingly while wiggling her eyebrows

"That's beside the point" Sierra says while flipping her hair "I just want you to know who you are getting in with. I don't trust these people and I took the liberty of finding some of Blair Waldorfs' diaries. You wouldn't believe were she kept them" Sierra say showing Holly were the said diaries were.

"Don't you have any sense of privacy, you want me to read some dead girl's diary" Holly says sounding horrified.

Sierra rolls her eyes "yes I want you to read some dead girl's diary, the same dead girl everyone mistakes you as, the same dead girl everyone now wants you to be like. I want you to read these diaries and do some research on this girl to find out about her and yourself. Pls, okay I will leave you to it my laptop is on with the website of the gossip site on" Sierra leaves Holly to all these devices

Holly goes to the laptop and search for Blair Waldorf at the Gossip Girl site and there were so many post

_Blair Waldorf and her prince charming break up again_

_Blair and Nate quarrel because Nate was giving Serena the sex eye_

_Blair and Serena fight again because Serena replaced her in wearing one of the exquisite custom made Waldorf dress made by her mom, but was given to Serena by Eleanor Waldorf herself_

_Blair Waldorf crying and feeding the ducks... Guess mother dear and papa bear are fighting again_

_Look who comes to console Blair nope not Nate... Chuck Bass I think the world is ending_

_Serena is gone; sources say she didn't tell anyone... Yea even Blair her best friend_

_Harold is gay... Guess divorce is in the Waldorf's future_

_Blair and Nate break up again for the umpteenth time_

_Serena is at grand central_

…

…holly keeps strolling till she reached the last post of Blair Waldorf

_Blair Waldorf gets in bed with two guys in a week_

She slams the laptop and goes to the chest and picks up one of the said tiffany diary "she had good taste" Holly thinks, she opens and starts just glancing through it not really reading "_today I broke my favorite mug and some of the sharp parts scraped my thighs. I guess that's another addition to my many imperfections"_ holly slams the book, closes her eyes, then looks at her thighs and sees a scar their just like the description in the book. She stands and starts pacing around the room she picks up her cell phone.

"Hello can I speak to John Axel, this is Holly... Holly Astor" Holly breathes in "I will like you to give me my father's P.I's contact".

* * *

Read and Review..love ya.. Holly's school uniform should be like Dianne Agron in school uniform.. google or bing it thanks


	9. thanksgiving tell all

Downstairs all you could here were noises from people whether it be from caterers who were still trying to get the orders correct, or from Dorota herself who is trying to make sure the caterers don't screw things up, or from Eleanor the one barking the orders to Dorota herself, or Harold who is trying to make sure Roman arrived into NYC safely. Holly could hear the dings of the coming in of the guests or the outgoing of the caterers from the large bathroom. Holly was staring at herself in the mirror and she could feel this hot burning fire that was boiling from the bottom of her stomach waiting to erupt like a volcano and all she wanted to do was leave and not look back.

"Hey, are you ready?" Dave ask with Sierra by his side

"They are asking for our presence downstairs, I guess it's time for the thanksgiving festivities" Sierra tell Holly, then she notices the sour face on Holly "hey are you ok? You don't look excited; trust me when you see the decorations downstairs it's going to brighten up your face and…"

"I don't want to be here" Holly says

"Why?" Dave asks with shock shown on his face "I thought you loved New York and Constance, they love you and practically worship you there…."

"They do not love me; they love their so-called Blair Waldorf who they think I am or look a lot like. They do not know me or even want to, they just need a Blair replacement and I am not going to be their replacement Dave, I have a life" she says remembering all the time Serena and the girls dragged her all the way to the MET steps only to tell her to criticize people's clothing and not appreciate them, or go to Bendels or Bloomingdales, not to shop(not like they didn't have the money), but to watch the customer service girl run up and down for an hour and only hear "we don't like anything…But thanks anyway". It's not like she doesn't love all these stuffs but it's just not her and they never ask "hey Holly what do you want to do"… it's more like "let's do this Blair loves doing this". Holly walks out the bathroom with Dave and Sierra in tow.

"What about Serena, Nate and Chuck" "or just Chuck" Sierra mumbles out loud and tries to giggle, but recoils after seeing the daggers that were shot at her from Holly, "they are pretty nice people…right?" Dave question "I think with time with them and other people they would get to know you as Holly Astor and not Blair Waldorf…just give them time Holz"

"You don't get it do you?" Holly says while sitting on the bed and Sierra joining her too on the bed "you guys don't have faces of someone that reminds other people of their dead loved ones and those people you just mentioned are her best friends"

"And we are your best friend Holz" Sierra says squeezing her hand for support

"It's been a year since Blair died and they still believe in some stupid miracle that she is somewhere, they will never take me as Holly with this face, I am always going to be a reminder of a friend that they lost or daughter. You don't see how Eleanor and Harold look at me like I am about to come out and say "hey guess what I am your daughter Blair". I see them all trying to correct their mistake to Blair through me like I am some supernatural clone of her". Holly says while looking at Dave "I just want to leave here, I want to go back to California, and I want to go home".

"You know we can't leave Holly" Dave says while sitting beside her on the bed "dad and mom gave them custody over us, we can't be on our own till we are 21 and if we want to be on our own now, then we have to go to court and contest that they are unfit guardians".

After hearing all these and knowing within herself that neither Dave nor Sierra would lie that the Waldorfs were an unfit guardian considering they never were, but would do it just for her. Holly abruptly stands up from the bed and starts pacing then she stops "I don't care what you have to do Dave all I know is that I don't want to be here and I am leaving with or without you" with that she leaves the room to go downstairs. With her walking with both anger and determination she failed to notice Serena who was lurking in the corners. Dave and Sierra sprint to follow Holly incase she chooses to give everyone a thanksgiving to remember… how right were they? As Dave was on his way downstairs with Sierra in front, he noticed something or more like someone behind him and turned to come face to face with Serena and with the look of shock and sadness on her face he knew she heard somethings if not everything that was said, so instead she bypasses him to go and stand with both Chuck and Nate. "Great" Dave mumbles under his breath.

* * *

In the room Holly could see the authenticity but simplicity of the room, if she wasn't so mad maybe she would have loved all these designs and incorporated it into her company or something, I mean she is a boss and CEO of a company or more like a soon to be CEO. As she was all by her lone self some guy who was with Harold came up to her with that same look she has been getting everywhere like cant she just get a break?.

"Holly there you are, this is Roman" Harold says pointing at the well dressed guy beside him "he flew all the way from France to be here and also to see you" Harold finishes with smiles everywhere.

"It's so nice meeting you" Holly says with a smile because from what she knows this guy is not to be blamed and even though she really wants to be angry towards him, she just can't find it in her to be angry, so instead she settles for a made up fake smile.

"The pleasure is all mine" Roman says with a thick but pleasant accent "I know you might have been getting this a lot, but God you really do look like our dear Blair" right at that moment all Holly wanted to say was 'yes I've been getting that a lot and I would really love it if you guys could just shut it".

Instead she settles for "will you excuse me, I think I can see my brother waving at me" Holly says and leaves

Roman turns to Harold "did I say something I shouldn't have said?" He asked

"No I don't thinks so" Harold who was as confused as Roman replied

* * *

Serena takes a champagne glass from a passing caterer and downs it on one full swing while approaching Chuck and Nate.

"Wow Serena, you do now we are at an event, Eleanor Waldorfs to be exact" Chuck says, Serena doesn't reply instead she takes Chuck's drink and downs it like she did the last one. "Whoa Serena slow down" Nate interjects when she tries to take his own drink.

"What's got you in a foul mood this lovely day" Chuck says smugly… there is nothing better than watching the ole bad Serena at a thanksgiving.

Serena looks at them with no expression whatsoever because at this point in time she doesn't know what to feel. "She... She is leaving, or wants to leave". Was the only thing she could get out.

"Serena who wants to leave?" Chuck ask knowing the answer, but wanting Serena to answer the question

"Holly" Serena says "I heard them talking she, Dave and Sierra, she said she wants to go back to California".

"But she can't do that, the Waldorfs have custody over them now, so she cannot just up and leave" Nate says in a thinking manner like he was disturbed from the inside.

"Yea that's what I heard Dave say, but she wants to contest..."

"She wants to contest that the Waldorfs are incompetent guardians" Chuck finishes

"Yea…"Serena says somberly

"She can't do that Eleanor and Harold have been nice to them and Harold is leaving France to stay here for them" Nate says

"Actually she can, if she can get Dave and Sierra on her side" Chuck says while making eye contact with Holly and it seemed like they were actually talking with their eyes. She leaves the sides of Dave and Sierra and walks to the elevator. Chuck takes that as his cue to follow, "excuse me" Serena draws him back by his sleeves and he could see determination in her eyes and tears "convince her to stay Chuck" he nods and leaves

* * *

When chuck meets her, he went straight to business, he didn't need to beat around the bush because he could always read people, but the girl in front of him was so unreadable that it actually scared him a little.

"Why do you want to leave NYC?" Chuck ask

"You mean why do I want to leave this sadistic city and go to the city of the golden" she asks with a little dare in her eyes.

"What do you mean sadistic, we've all been nice with you and your brother and even Sierra included. Wait did someone do something to you, all you have to do is give me a name and he or she is gone" Chuck threatens and in all honesty he would do anything to make sure they stay.

"Nice you say? Does this sound familiar…_You held a certain fascination... when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. Now... now you're like the Arabian my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet". _Holly says with a sadistic smile.

To say Chuck was shocked was an understatement, it was like his worse dream was present, and it was like he was present at that time that it originally happened. "Where did you hear that from" Chuck says while taking Holly's elbow before she could walk out

"More like where did I read it from?" she says with a mortified disgusted face expression that screamed you are worthless "I guess it was one of her last entries in her vintage tiffany diaries, some first you were" Holly says with disgust.

"I didn't know what I was saying that night, I was angry and... and drunk. I regret that day every day, it is my worse dream" Chuck rasps out sadly and if she wasn't already angry right now, she might give him a hug or something, but today isn't about anyone.

"Yea?" Holly says tauntingly trying to twist the dagger deeper into his bleeding heart "you better believe me when I say you were the main reason she was on that plane that day and after reading all her diaries, I found out you had a special place in her heart because of how she wrote about you" at that a tear falls freely from Chuck's eyes "she came to you that night because she could always count on you and was ready to forgive you considering you were the one that sent the blast about her sex life" Holly says with anger and rips her hand off from Chuck's grasp "you know if I was Blair I would be glad that I was dead and gone" at that chuck brings his face up and was about to say something before Eleanor interrupted

"Holly… and Chuck" Eleanor says noticing their stance "it's time to eat" she says

* * *

After everyone was seated and dinner were still being served by the caterers, when one of the servers came to put mashed potatoes for Holly she kept on requesting more with her hand but her eyes were on Eleanor waiting for her to say something. Sierra noticing this; looked desperately at Dave to tell Holly to stop, Dave looks at Holly and squeezed her hand to make her stop the server. Holly stops the server, but no one was ready for what she was about to say.

"Eleanor nice food and wow nice room decorations too" Holly says while looking at her dead in the eyes

"Oh pls don't flatter me, you can thank the chef and designers for all of these" Eleanor says sensing that there was more to this.

"Will do just that when I see them" Holly says "so do you do this every year?"

"Yes… we try to do this every year it was my daughter's favorite holiday'

"Speaking of Blair was she allowed to eat all these delicacies considering she was bulimic (cutleries were heard hitting the ceramic plates and people were coughing non-stop) and you never allowed her to eat anything besides grapes and yogurt" Holly says while taking a large spoon of potatoes and putting them all into her mouth.

"I…I" Eleanor stammers through and she felt Harold holding her hand in a sort of comfort and in a courage giving way "when it comes to my daughter's eating disorder I was a bad support or parent. I wish I had done better" she says while looking at Holly

"Don't worry you weren't the only bad support she had considering her boyfriend was boning her best friend at her back… right Nate?" Holly smirks at Nate who was sitting in her front...God how she hated this blonde boy "seriously who cheats on his girlfriend with her bestfriend... oh yea a pathetic overgrown jerk". To say everyone at the table was shocked would be underplaying it. Sierra knowing what was happening texted Dave immediately.

"**Get Holly out of here"**

"**What? Yea right... Help me stop her"**. Dave writes back

"I love this wine," Sierra says to nobody and to everybody "what is it?"

"Oh that's my wine, I produce it from my own private vineyard in France" Harold says glad that some other topic was being talked about

"Let me guess that's the same vineyard you spent all your time in instead of on your own daughter who loved and missed you so much". She says trying to imitate being cute and innocent at the same time "I mean I am sure your life in France was so lovely that you wouldn't want a daughter of your past marriage coming in to destroy it". Holly sneers "how could you live an ocean away from your daughter, she must have meant so little to you and now she is dead you decide to move back, what's the need like why couldn't you do the same thing when she was alive" Holly says putting her hand under her chin and hand on the table (oh this is so against the etiquette rules).

"Look here young lady, my daughter meant a lot to me, she was my angel and I might not be the daddy of the year, but I always let her know how much I loved her" Harold says

"That's not how I see it or rather how I read it" Holly says standing up and circling the table "you see how she wrote it was that she was never perfect or good enough for you" Holly says while standing at the back of Eleanor's chair "I mean you were the first trigger to her disorder state because she wanted to be as thin as Serena, since you preferred the best friend of your own daughter to your own daughter". She walks to Harold's chair "and when she thought she could get a hang of the disorder by having you around always telling her how beautiful she was, you decided to leave her and she was okay with it, but did she mean so little to you that you had to move an ocean away from her?" Holly asks again and Harold put his head on his hand. "All you had to do was stay in New York, no you couldn't, but here you are moving back in to New York with your dear French lover now she is dead… what for if I may ask?" Holly asks faking a thinking and confused face, she walks to Nate's chair. "So she resorted to finding some consolation from her lifetime boyfriend even though she had an inkling that he was in love with her best friend or should I say lusting after her best friend. Why wouldn't he? Everyone loves Serena Van Der Woodsen, everything she does is golden and not wrong. Nate sleeps with Serena while still in a relationship with Blair it's all good, Blair forgives and stays with him, Blair breaks up with Nate and does the same thing, and she is a witch that should be stoned to death. Isn't that right Natie?" She walks up to Serena "Serena I am sure you are okay with taking things from the best friend who wanted nothing more than love from her loved ones, I hope you are proud of yourself, knowing you took and kept on taking things from Blair Waldorf until the last day she drew breath". She went to Chuck's chair and could sense him tense up and Chuck could hear his heart beat, instead Holly gives a sardonic smile and walks back to her chair, but not sitting she looks up at all their saddened faces "I am not Blair Waldorf and will never be Blair Waldorf, so no matter how you all want to do right by her through me, it's not going to work. It's too late, Blair Waldorf is dead and gone and nothing you guys do will bring her back, so please stop all the niceties and pretences". She says and walks out and into her room with a loud bang heard, silence encompassing everyone and everywhere

"Desert anyone? "Sierra says while Chuck's phone rings out loud knocking everyone from their trance

"I am sorry, I have to take this" Chuck says noticing his P.I's number

* * *

In the room with Holly flat on her bed, there was a knock heard. "You can come in" she says non-committed knowing it was Dave from the knock. Dave enters noticing her on the bed holding a brown envelope, so he walks into the room and takes the envelope and looks through the contents with shock on his face.

"You are a Waldorf?"

"Yes... The Blair Waldorf".

* * *

the next chapter will be the last... pls i need some ideas, i already know how i want it to end, but i want to know how you would want it to end maybe it might be better than mine...pls read and review and send me your suggestions...thanks

_ ._


	10. I am BLAIR WALDORF

I am so sorry, you guys are seeing this update now, I've been sick for the past two weeks and I am still ill, but I made a promise to finish it before the fall classes begin so here it is my **last chapter. **i would love to use this opportunity to thank those who have been there for me from the beginning (chapter 1), even when I thought I should just stop updating. I just want to say thank you to my reviewers, readers, followers, and favorites and so on. I want to use this moment to thank this people: **mad turn, isidorabass, musicbean2, and iAllegator and the guests reviewers**. Thanks for reading.

* * *

_You are a Waldorf?_

_The Blair Waldorf._

In Holly's room, you can see three kids on the king size bed deep in thoughts each and one of them scared of moving a muscle just so they won't have to disturb the other from their thoughts. It's been weeks since the infamous and unforgotten thanksgiving and there's been tension all round the house. It's like the Waldorfs are waiting for Holly to make a move or waiting to see their lawyer or a lawyer come tell them that they've been served or something, you could see the tension in them every time the elevator dings. And the tension in school was bad too that's if you include the looks that were given to the Astors from the NJBC- especially Chuck. Dave and Sierra were both thinking the same thing in their heads _Holly is a Waldorf, nah she is the missing Blair Waldorf _and _another dinner gathering? Don't these people ever learn?_ Then a thought pops into Dave's head

"Do you think Chuck knows?" Dave asks moving his face to look at Holly and Sierra does the same.

"Why would you think he would know that?" Sierra says confusingly

"Because from the informations I have gathered from people here "he _is_ Chuck Bass"" Dave say with a shrug

"What does that mean?" Sierra ask with a raised brow and the both looked at Holly to see a smirk that looked almost exactly like the ones on Chuck Bass

"It just means that he is Chuck Bass and that answers the question" Holly says not looking at them, but in her own bubble of thoughts.

"So does he know?" Dave continues his question which was never answered. Holly turns and looks at him, then begins to remember what occurred a week after the thanksgiving.

_They Astors have just entered school and this time with no limo, not that the limo wasn't there just that it was declined by Holly herself, every day since the thanksgiving the limo keeps on appearing and she keeps on declining. So today they rode in a sleek black town car, just like their first day, Dave was the first to step out then Sierra then Holly and just like the first day there was a huge crowd waiting for their arrival which includes Serena, Chuck and Nate at the gate too. But this time it was different because instead of the Astor's flocking to the upper east side royals, Holly stepped in the middle of Dave and Sierra flipped her hair and walked into the school like she owned the school noticing the slight smirk on chuck's face from the corner of her eyes. After the last class before the lunch break as Holly was stepping out of her class she felt someone drag her by her arm into an empty room? Closet? ..._

"_Chuck what the hell" she says with a murderous look that would cut anyone, but not Chuck that has gotten used to that same look._

"_I know who you are, who you really are" Chuck says still holding onto her elbow and looking straight into her eyes because if he was confused that she was her, now he knows who she is there is no way in hell she is leaving new York without getting a fight from him if he has to buy out JFK or anything he would._

"_And who do you think I am?" She said coming close to him daring him with her eyes and what she was daring him to do was lost on her because before she could think of what else to say and then do a dramatic walkout Chuck was kissing her. He was kissing her like his life depended on it, it was hard since he came on her without permission and didn't want her to pull away just yet, then it turned gentle, slow and deep like she was an expensive breakable inanimate object that he wants to have forever and the kiss was long that when chuck deemed it was ok to stop it left them breathless and flushed, but Holly couldn't stop herself or hand from slapping him which shocked the both of them because it looked like the slap was a reflex._

"_What did you do that for" Holly breathes out the words like that were the only thing holding her mentality in place._

"_It's you" Chuck says with his hand still on his cheek_

"_What?" Holly says now so confused_

"_It's you" Chuck says again like that should answer all the questions "Blair…" he continues while roughing up his perfect hair "I know you are Blair Waldorf and I know what happened to you and you don't have to leave New York, we can figure it out. We all…_

"_You don't get it, do you?" She ask "I thought you would have figured it by now" Holly says walking around the small room that she can't figure out what exactly it is "just because I am Blair Waldorf does not actually mean I am Blair Waldorf, it might say so in my DNA, but not in my head"_

"_What do you mean by just because... "Chuck was saying_

"_I can't remember my life as Blair Waldorf" Holly says with a tear trickling down her face "and after reading about her I strongly don't want to know or remember anything about her"._

"_Just because you read some things about her does not mean she was bad and sometimes her being bad is why we also love her because she can be bad only to protect those she holds dearly and that's what you should know. She had a lot of hurdles before and after her, but she was strong enough to surpass them all because she is Blair Waldorf, YOU ARE BLAIR WALDORF" Chuck screams not knowing when he walked to Holly and was now holding her hands in his._

"_So what? What do you want me to do" Holly takes back her hand "you want me to tell the whole world that I am Blair Waldorf and just be comfortable with that even when I don't remember being that person, I should assume the role of playing her even when I don't know anything about her?" Holly says placing her bag perfectly back in her shoulder "you all are so selfish only out for yourself, what about how I feel, or what I want no one ask me that, "its oh she looks like Blair Waldorf then it's gonna be she is Blair Waldorf with just a hint of amnesia but that's okay because she is Blair Waldorf she can pull through It". You never asked me or even the Blair Waldorf if she wants to pull through it or want to do it". Holly breathes out to calm herself from the rage that she can feel building up "as far as I am concerned Blair Waldorf died in that plane crash and that's final". She walks out_

"He knows" Holly says looking at Dave

"Do you think he has told Serena and Nate yet?" Sierra ask

"I don't think so" Dave answer this time "if he has told it would be raining blonds, but you are the only blond here" he says looking at Sierra "so we are safe, for now" he says looking at Holly because sooner than later he knows Holly will have to come out of the closet and tell the Waldorfs that she was or is still their missing daughter and he doesn't know where that would leave him with, will he loose his sister the only family he has.

"For now" Sierra says reading Dave's face and knowing what he is thinking about. Holly noticing the somber voice they used in the "for now" and looking at their faces decided to put their fears to rest.

"I will never ever replace you guys, you both" she takes their hands "hold a special place in my heart and I will always love you guys and I hope I am still in the family even though we found out that I am a missing heiress" Holly says with a laugh.

"You will always be my own little sister, Waldorf or not, you are an Astor and once an Astor, always an Astor" Dave says now sitting up and holding Holly's left hand.

"Same here Holz" Sierra says playing with the sheets "I know Blair Waldorf has Serena, Chuck and Nate who want their places back as your best friend but you will always be my family and I will always love you".

"Don't say that, Blair Waldorf or not I am still an Astor" she says squeezing Dave's hand "and no matter the name I bear Sierra you are also my family and people just don't forget their family because they changed their name and I will always love you". After Holly finishes talking a knock was heard and it was from Dorota telling them that the Christmas Eve family dinner has started, so they all crawl out of bed trying to fix their dress and shirts to make sure there were no wrinkles.

* * *

Seated In the dining room waiting for the Astors were Harold, Eleanor, Lily, Chuck, Serena, Nate and Eric. What was supposed to be a family dinner turned out to be a family and friends dinner because the Van Der Woodsens had no wherelse to go for Christmas eve dinner and Serena didn't want to be at home knowing that every minute not spent convincing Holly was a minute wasted on her thinking going back to Cali is a brilliant idea, Chuck was ecstatic when Lily called the Waldorf and was granted permission to come crash the dinner because they had enough food to feed a village and the Archibald went for a sail, but Nate couldn't join them because Serena had threatened him that if he was not here to help stop Holly from leaving he was going to be missing some human parts, so that's how they got to be here.

Chuck was seated and on his right hand side he had Eric and on his left he had Nate and they were all waiting for them to come down, then he heard them on the stairs and the first he saw was Sierra she was a vision to behold wearing a pink chiffon like small dress that had a deep v-neck but in a decent way and not too provocative like what Serena would wear and boobs would be everywhere this dress had a nude net-like cloth covering the deep v-neck dress which would leave a man's mind wondering what lay underneath, a lemon green heel that matched the earrings she wore and hair in a low neat bun he could still feel Nate open mouthed, next was Dave wearing a baby blue long shirt that was almost fitted but long and it had black buttons and was wearing black pants he looked good and this time around he was feeling Eric's mouth on the ground and the last but not the least was Holly she took everyone's breath away, she looked "wow" Chuck was speechless and he knew he was staring and gaping, but just didn't know how to snap out of it. She was wearing a red dress that accentuated her porcelain skin, the dress was above the knee and had the same nude net like thing but it was used in the shoulder not at the breast side and at the breast side the dress was designed in the front like rose petals of some kind that confused Chuck and made him want to think of how it was designed because it looked like it was designed for her body and her hair were in ringlets and were all in perfect curls and shoes were red Jimmy Choos.

The Astor's were now seated but looked uncomfortable because of the stares that were directed at them well Sierra loved them if you asked her because she loved how Nate was looking at her like he was lost. Serena cleared her throat twice and the boys didn't move a muscle and tonight was the night she plans to make Holly stay and doesn't need the boys ogling and looking at them like they were the served dinner so this time she clears her throat so loud it garners her glares from the boys and Lily but a look of thanks from Holly which was worth the glares she got. Chuck felt embarrassed and Nate was flushed, but Eric was still mouth dropped and was looking at Dave since Dave was now sitting in front of him and everyone was looking at Eric to pick his mouth up and Serena wasn't going to clear her throat, so it was left up to Chuck to jab him in the ribs to snap him out of it and it did the work because when Eric was out of his trance he felt eyes on him and bowed his head in the name of embarrassment and didn't raise it up to see Dave blushing. Everyone ate with silence and a little talk here and there between Eleanor, Lily and Harold much to the dismay of the kids who had a lot to say and none to say. So when the plates were cleared, Holly clears her throat. _Oh crap_

"Excuse me, I would love to use this opportunity to say wow what a delicious dinner Harold and Eleanor and we are honored to have been here. Thank you and happy Christmas Eve everyone" she says raising her glass with everyone. "Wouldn't it be nice to eat the desert in the living room?" Harold and Eleanor look at each other with fear of the unknown shown on their faces and say "sure". Everyone stood up to go into the living room. When everyone was seated Holly walks to the family Christmas tree and takes out an envelope. "I…I found something about me that I would like to share with everyone here well most of you know," she said looking at Chuck which made Serena and Nate look at him "but I thought it would be best if you both" she said looking at Harold and Eleanor "heard or rather see it first from me" she said handing out the envelope to Harold. Harold took out the documents from the envelope and read through it and read it again just to be sure his eyes weren't fooling him, his hands start to shake and Eleanor who couldn't take the suspense took the paper and glanced through it

"Oh my God" she said looking at Holly "is this true?" she says using her other hand to cover her mouth from a gasp and hidden sobs.

"Yes" Holly says looking at her

"Blair?" Eleanor says looking at Holly then glancing back to Harold with a question In her eyes to make sure that the document was right and with a small nod was all she wanted before she embraced the girl before her "how, when, what happened.. I don't understand, how did you survive the crash" at that Serena who has been confused at what was going on but was now catching up, her breath was hitched and she was speechless

"The plane crashed but some parts of the plane just fell on the ocean and at first I thought I was going to die but all I can remember is taking a raft or some sort and leaving the plane to swim away because it was sinking and I just kept on swimming and prayed to be found, that's where the Astors found me and then I was lost and couldn't remember" at that Chuck's ears perked up

"You remember?" he said

Holly looks around to see their faces so eager to know her answer and in their faces she sees the love and affection that she would receive and that's when she knew she was okay with her decision "I now remember, I remember everything" everyone gasped and were shocked. Well except Dave and Sierra because they were there when it happened.

_It's been two weeks since after the thanksgiving and she has been having these splitting headaches more often and they are not fun._

"_So which movies are we watching" Dave says with the big bowl of popcorn and m&amp;m's scattered around it_

"_I don't know" Holly says dipping her hand into the bowl to take some popcorn "Sierra is picking some old movie from Blair's film collection"_

"_Hey" Dave say taking the bowl "go get your own bowl and get your paws away from mine"_

"_I found one" Sierra say excitedly while putting it in_

"_What's the name" Holly say_

"_Umm breakfast at tiffany's" Sierra says looking at Holly "have you seen it before?"_

"_It sounds familiar" Holly say "but I haven't seen it before"_

_So the movie starts and Holly was sucked in and it was like as she was watching, something uncontrollable was happening to her and when the moon river starts playing pain shoots into her head like a lightening just struck her and she screams Dave and Sierra come to her aide holding her down and then she faints, but she was still breathing which was a good sign. After an eight hour sleep, she feels like she was a double agent because now she remembers and not just flashes, no she actually has her memories._

"I remember" she says again she looks at Serena now with tears in her eyes "and I remember the first time we took our first credit card out to shop we were nine and I bought you the shoes you've always wanted but was too scared to ask for it from Lily and you bought me my first red bow headband that was laced with little diamonds and a strawberry red lip gloss," Serena was crying so hard that she stood up from her chair so fast like flash and hugged her so tight then she turns to Nate "I remember the first time I set eyes on you" she smiles "you were wearing a sweater on top of a shirt and your blue eyes was so bright that I claimed you as mine and already had wedding bells ringing in my ears". She turns to Chuck "I remember the first time we met, you said I had been on the swing for more than 5 minutes which was the required time the teacher said was max and I said I wasn't done yet and you pulled my hair so hard which ruffled my hair, I was so angry that I gathered sand in my hand and during lunch I dumped them into your food" that brought out laughter from Chuck because he remembers that day like it was yesterday "I think that was my first scheme" she said now holding Chuck's hand "I also remember Victrola" Chuck raise his head to look her dead in the eyes to see if she was lying and she wasn't. she turns to Harold Eleanor "I remember on my ninth birthday you bought I and mom a matching tiffany's bracelet with wings as clasp and you made us a matching Eleanor Waldorf original dress and we wore it together to my birthday dinner. That was the best birthday ever for me" she says holding their hands.

Eleanor embrace her so tight with Harold holding her so tight too, It felt like she couldn't breathe and when they released her she was engulfed into another hug from Nate muttering "don't do that to us again" with tears coming out from his eyes and the only thing she could do was nod

"Can we call you Blair Waldorf or …" Serena says confused and scared of the answer to the question, but she knows that's what everyone has been thinking

She had made this decision with Dave and Sierra after she told them she now remembers and she came to a final decision today so she looks up at Serena "I am Blair Waldorf and a wise woman once told me that Waldorf women were bred to be strong and be winners and not losers and I am also an Astor because once an Astor always an Astor. So I am still the same person no matter what you call me…I am still your B" she said looking at Serena "and I am still Holz" she said looking Sierra and Dave, "but **I am Blair Waldorf" **she says with a smile.

_Fin._


End file.
